Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Before leaving the house,I cleaned up a mess in the backseat of my car.I had quite a few loose empty bottles and cans all over the place in the backseat.After that was done,I headed out to put in a few more job applications in a few local places and after that,I headed for a local supermarket to turn in all the bottles and cans that I had.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It is very complicated going through this and if having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult,as I have to endure hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds and voices that only I can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talk about it.I ask him for strength to get me through the difficulties of this psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me.It makes me feel a tad better knowing that they are there to help me get through anything.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply turned to the opposite side while still in bed and within a minute,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and fortunately,I was able to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.The temptation t act out by fantasies and lusting kept coming at me all through the day.Alongside them,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these images also came at me.As these temptations kept coming at me,I kept up asking my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these urges and I did feel stronger after doing so.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that when visiting,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words as they both help keep me going in this particular struggle as I really want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ