Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first did some cleaning up around the house and that took a while to do.After that was done,I relaxed for a while before going out in the later afternoon to drop off another job application someplace.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing with the issues that are connected with having BPD and the consistent emotional roller coaster ride that I keep going through day after day,or at other times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,in which I also have to put with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds like footsteps and turning around to find nobody there and hearing voices calling my name that only I can hear.It is a living hell going through this very difficult double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have to endure day after day and at times,I wish that I didn't have to.I still continue to go to my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting the better of me,I simply throw it on my Heavenly Father and ask him to get me through all of the stresses of this psychiatric disability double whammy that I have,and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the stresses of this and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone here and that does make me feel a little bit better and knowing that they are doing all they can to help me through this particular struggle.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also to help keep me on a level plain and in their own way,telling me that they're there and that they're doing everything in their power to help get me through this.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom and as I walked there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men as well.Alongside these,I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of reaching orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I know that it isn't a sin to be tempted,but I do know that it is sinful to give into any temptation.Again,I kept up in prayer all day as these temptations kept coming at me.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I prayed real hard as each and every resistance only makes the temptations come back stronger than the last time and I did feel better and much stronger after I prayed as I truly believed and had faith that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I submit here to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rarely left for me.I need both emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am going through this difficult SSA struggle and I can't go it alone here.Again,I need the emotional support and emotional encouragement of everyone who follows my blog and reads everything here.I need these things to help keep me going in this difficult SSA struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming,and to continue to seek healing from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle.I really need this emotional support and emotional encouragement to help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ