Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the public library to print something out of my e-mail and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is a difficult struggle in itself,but both God and Christ help in sustaining me and it also shows that I don't have to suffer or struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation and yes,it was the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping before ejaculation occurs.After I stopped doing this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this particular temptation.This particular activity,the manipulation of my genitals,has really become a problem for me.Though I don't do it every day like I used to,I still give into this particular temptation whenever I do get the craving to do it and I would really love to stop doing this.Most of the time,there is lusting involved with this and again,I would love to stop doing this to myself.I know that this is an unclean and impure habit and again,it is a habit that I want to stop.Again,when I do give into this particular habit via temptation,I always ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I do feel better as a result of believing that I am truly forgiven whenever I give into any temptation and ask to be forgiven.I am asking for any advice on how I can stop doing this sort of thing.I am really desperate here and I want to stop giving into this particular temptation whenever it comes around.If anyone out there can give me anything that has helped them,please share.Thanks.I am open to try anything to give up practicing this dirty,unclean and impure habit.Please share any advice as to what has worked for you and why it worked.I would appreciate any advice given on how I can stop giving into this temptation to engage in this habit of manipulating my genitals for the purposes of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping before the occurrence of ejaculation.Those who follow and read my blog regularly,please help me.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
Tomorrow morning,it will be church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy and possibly,watch a movie on DVD.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in a bag load of cans and bottles to get some much needed money.After that was done,I went to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of herbal cold medicines and after paying for those,I headed over to see a friend and see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions very by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I simply never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with sounds and noises,such as voices or footsteps and seeing nobody else around walking,alongside the ups and downs of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a while and continued sitting up until the erection softened and when it did fully soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.After I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation as I really felt bad for giving into it.Throughout the day,I was again tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and the temptations were very overwhelming.I didn't want to sin,so I kept up in prayer to God all day to help get me through the temptations.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the temptations and after that,I felt much better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I kept it up all through the day and each time,I felt better.I am also still continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,some encouraging words in the comments section of my blog.Please pray for me and leave something encouraging in my blog's comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and more determined to continue to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as their powers combined are more powerful than anything known to man.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in a bag load of cans and bottles to get some much needed money.After that was done,I went to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of herbal cold medicines and after paying for those,I headed over to see a friend and see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions very by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I simply never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with sounds and noises,such as voices or footsteps and seeing nobody else around walking,alongside the ups and downs of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a while and continued sitting up until the erection softened and when it did fully soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.After I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation as I really felt bad for giving into it.Throughout the day,I was again tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and the temptations were very overwhelming.I didn't want to sin,so I kept up in prayer to God all day to help get me through the temptations.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the temptations and after that,I felt much better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I kept it up all through the day and each time,I felt better.I am also still continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,some encouraging words in the comments section of my blog.Please pray for me and leave something encouraging in my blog's comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and more determined to continue to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as their powers combined are more powerful than anything known to man.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only one thing planned for the day.
The only thing that I had on my agenda was dinner at my sister's house.It was originally going to be at my former brother in-law's place,but things changed as of yesterday afternoon.I headed over to my sister's house when the time came to go there and was there for much of the afternoon.
The dinner and the family time were both wonderful.After some wonderful family time,I headed straight home as there was nowhere else to go as a result of the holiday as everyplace around town was closed.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.It is a never ending struggle and at times,I wished that I didn't have to go through this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I still attend my therapy sessions.I still take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With them,I am not alone in my struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggle,I again was tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when throbbing erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours woke me up out of a deep sleep.The first one wasn't too bad as the erection softened as I turned to the opposite side.With the second one,it was much more stronger than the first one and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and used it and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after I was finished,my genitals were back to full softness and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the rest of the evening as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have kept coming at me left and right.I was in a battle with them for the rest of the evening,but I chose to throw all of the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I chose to let them both strengthen me to fight and resist all temptations that came at me.I threw them all on both God and Christ and the temptations were reduced to nil.For much of the day when I was at my sister's,I wasn't tempted at all as I was around others,but when I was alone at home for the rest of the day,the temptations really came at me and they were strong.But again,I simply chose to throw all temptations on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better each time as the temptations were reduced to nil.I am again asking for those who follow and read my blog posts to continue praying for me as I am still trying to get through this very difficult emotional period and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that people do visit and view my blog,but don't leave any comments in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as your prayers and your encouraging comments keep me going in this fight against the unnatural desires associated with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only one thing planned for the day.
The only thing that I had on my agenda was dinner at my sister's house.It was originally going to be at my former brother in-law's place,but things changed as of yesterday afternoon.I headed over to my sister's house when the time came to go there and was there for much of the afternoon.
The dinner and the family time were both wonderful.After some wonderful family time,I headed straight home as there was nowhere else to go as a result of the holiday as everyplace around town was closed.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.It is a never ending struggle and at times,I wished that I didn't have to go through this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I still attend my therapy sessions.I still take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With them,I am not alone in my struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggle,I again was tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when throbbing erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours woke me up out of a deep sleep.The first one wasn't too bad as the erection softened as I turned to the opposite side.With the second one,it was much more stronger than the first one and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and used it and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after I was finished,my genitals were back to full softness and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the rest of the evening as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have kept coming at me left and right.I was in a battle with them for the rest of the evening,but I chose to throw all of the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I chose to let them both strengthen me to fight and resist all temptations that came at me.I threw them all on both God and Christ and the temptations were reduced to nil.For much of the day when I was at my sister's,I wasn't tempted at all as I was around others,but when I was alone at home for the rest of the day,the temptations really came at me and they were strong.But again,I simply chose to throw all temptations on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better each time as the temptations were reduced to nil.I am again asking for those who follow and read my blog posts to continue praying for me as I am still trying to get through this very difficult emotional period and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that people do visit and view my blog,but don't leave any comments in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as your prayers and your encouraging comments keep me going in this fight against the unnatural desires associated with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things that I needed to do.I first went to the local UPS store to send out something that I had to send back as it was defective merchandise.After doing that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my ongoing struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute/moment and/or down the next day or minute/moment.I never how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking daily with God about this particular struggle and asking them for help when it really gets difficult.They are there to help and all I need to do is ask them.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at a couple of times by throbbing erections.The first one didn't last very long,but the second one was really strong.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist the later temptation as it was a really overwhelming one.I actually got up out of bed as I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,as it was the first double whammy that I have had in a long time,I did give into a later temptation when I,in a state of tiredness after I had gotten up in the mid morning,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and I did feel better afterwards.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever any sort of temptation rears it's ugly head at me and even tries to envelope me.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and prayed to ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations that were coming at me from left and right and every time I prayed,I felt better.Though it has been two months since my mom's passing,I am still in a complex state of emotions as I am working to move on and still continue to learn to adjust to the loss of my mom as I am still feeling her absence and missing her at the same time.I know that I will always miss her and I know that in time,I will get used to her not being around,but I am still working on getting over it and also,trying to overcome this complex state of emotions that I am in as a result of her death.Day after day,I am going to continue in prayer and I am going to continue asking God for strength to fight and resist all sorts of temptations and urges whenever they rear their ugly heads.I am also going to start asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me overcome the complex state of emotions that I am in as a result of my mom passing away.I am also asking for prayers and words of encouragement by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts.People do visit and view my blog,but never leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.All of your prayers and encouraging words of support help keep me going in this fight and to also continue fighting to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,please say prayers for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with it being the holiday,I will be at my sister's house for dinner and I will be hanging out there for a while to simply talk and just enjoy the company.It was originally going to be at my former brother in-law's,but plans changed as of today.This will also be the first Thanksgiving without my mom being around.After it is over,I am simply going to go home and relax for a while and maybe,watch a movie or two that I will pop into the DVD player.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming holiday ahead.FJ
Today,,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things that I needed to do.I first went to the local UPS store to send out something that I had to send back as it was defective merchandise.After doing that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my ongoing struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute/moment and/or down the next day or minute/moment.I never how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking daily with God about this particular struggle and asking them for help when it really gets difficult.They are there to help and all I need to do is ask them.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at a couple of times by throbbing erections.The first one didn't last very long,but the second one was really strong.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist the later temptation as it was a really overwhelming one.I actually got up out of bed as I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,as it was the first double whammy that I have had in a long time,I did give into a later temptation when I,in a state of tiredness after I had gotten up in the mid morning,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and I did feel better afterwards.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever any sort of temptation rears it's ugly head at me and even tries to envelope me.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and prayed to ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations that were coming at me from left and right and every time I prayed,I felt better.Though it has been two months since my mom's passing,I am still in a complex state of emotions as I am working to move on and still continue to learn to adjust to the loss of my mom as I am still feeling her absence and missing her at the same time.I know that I will always miss her and I know that in time,I will get used to her not being around,but I am still working on getting over it and also,trying to overcome this complex state of emotions that I am in as a result of her death.Day after day,I am going to continue in prayer and I am going to continue asking God for strength to fight and resist all sorts of temptations and urges whenever they rear their ugly heads.I am also going to start asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me overcome the complex state of emotions that I am in as a result of my mom passing away.I am also asking for prayers and words of encouragement by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts.People do visit and view my blog,but never leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.All of your prayers and encouraging words of support help keep me going in this fight and to also continue fighting to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,please say prayers for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with it being the holiday,I will be at my sister's house for dinner and I will be hanging out there for a while to simply talk and just enjoy the company.It was originally going to be at my former brother in-law's,but plans changed as of today.This will also be the first Thanksgiving without my mom being around.After it is over,I am simply going to go home and relax for a while and maybe,watch a movie or two that I will pop into the DVD player.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming holiday ahead.FJ
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to type up a short business letter to a company,in which that I will be returning something that I bought from them asking for a refund and after that was done,I headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some much needed grocery shopping and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I unpacked all the groceries and put them in their proper places.After that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with on a daily basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing voices and sounds that others,aside from me,can't hear.As a result of this struggle with this double whammy that I have,I,at times,don't know if I am coming or going.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.It is simply a matter of talking to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about it and them helping me in sustaining me.They simply help me deal with this struggle effectively and I feel a tad better as a result.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help in getting me through this struggle,which gets even more difficult by the day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up and since I felt that I needed to use the bathroom,I walked there and as I walked there,the erection softened and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection was now fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after I got up a few hours later when I grabbed my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation to commit that act of uncleanness and impurity.The root cause of this fall was that I was still tired from sleeping the night before and I was still trying to fully wake up from that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations came around.They really do bombard me throughout the day.I kept up praying whenever the temptations came to try to envelope me.When they did,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after each prayer,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.While I am keeping up in prayer myself,I am also asking that those who follow and rad my blog posts also keep up in prayer for me and also,please do leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is because both your prayers and positive words of encouragement help keep me going in this struggle with this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that go with it.Please keep up prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and support in getting me though this struggle and giving me strength to fight and resist all temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to type up a short business letter to a company,in which that I will be returning something that I bought from them asking for a refund and after that was done,I headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some much needed grocery shopping and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I unpacked all the groceries and put them in their proper places.After that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with on a daily basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing voices and sounds that others,aside from me,can't hear.As a result of this struggle with this double whammy that I have,I,at times,don't know if I am coming or going.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.It is simply a matter of talking to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about it and them helping me in sustaining me.They simply help me deal with this struggle effectively and I feel a tad better as a result.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help in getting me through this struggle,which gets even more difficult by the day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up and since I felt that I needed to use the bathroom,I walked there and as I walked there,the erection softened and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection was now fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after I got up a few hours later when I grabbed my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation to commit that act of uncleanness and impurity.The root cause of this fall was that I was still tired from sleeping the night before and I was still trying to fully wake up from that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations came around.They really do bombard me throughout the day.I kept up praying whenever the temptations came to try to envelope me.When they did,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after each prayer,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.While I am keeping up in prayer myself,I am also asking that those who follow and rad my blog posts also keep up in prayer for me and also,please do leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is because both your prayers and positive words of encouragement help keep me going in this struggle with this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that go with it.Please keep up prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and support in getting me though this struggle and giving me strength to fight and resist all temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, November 19, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual building and improving self esteem group,which went as well as expected.Before the group started,I had to help upbuild a fellow believer,who claimed that they were fed up with the world and the bad things that were happening.I advised that fellow Christian believer to talk about this with God in prayer and share with God exactly how you feel about this and really talk to him about it.They told me that that they would.After the group,I decided to head out to Best Buy to have a look around and see what they had new.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD continues.My moods and/or emotions are always going through up and down motions by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I never how my moods and/r emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.Whenever the symptoms of my diagnosis try to get the better of me or try to overwhelm me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came about again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was also a very overwhelming temptation at that.I really had to use everything I had to fight and resist this temptation as it was really enveloping me.I tossed and turned and even sat up as I tried to keep my hands off of my genitals in the process.Within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I kept up in prayer throughout the day because the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have really kept coming at me.I was tempted to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,although ejaculation does happen at times.I really had to pray and pray real hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask for strength to fight and resist the urges to give into the temptations.The temptation to act out on the unnatural sexual desires connected to SSA can be very overwhelming at times and at times,they can get really strong.They get stronger with every resistance and I keep up in prayer and keep asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that comes.After praying,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil and I do feel stronger.I also ask that those who follow and read my blog posts keep up in prayers for me and also,to keep posting encouraging words in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have plans to do some grocery shopping.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual building and improving self esteem group,which went as well as expected.Before the group started,I had to help upbuild a fellow believer,who claimed that they were fed up with the world and the bad things that were happening.I advised that fellow Christian believer to talk about this with God in prayer and share with God exactly how you feel about this and really talk to him about it.They told me that that they would.After the group,I decided to head out to Best Buy to have a look around and see what they had new.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD continues.My moods and/or emotions are always going through up and down motions by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I never how my moods and/r emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.Whenever the symptoms of my diagnosis try to get the better of me or try to overwhelm me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came about again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was also a very overwhelming temptation at that.I really had to use everything I had to fight and resist this temptation as it was really enveloping me.I tossed and turned and even sat up as I tried to keep my hands off of my genitals in the process.Within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I kept up in prayer throughout the day because the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have really kept coming at me.I was tempted to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,although ejaculation does happen at times.I really had to pray and pray real hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask for strength to fight and resist the urges to give into the temptations.The temptation to act out on the unnatural sexual desires connected to SSA can be very overwhelming at times and at times,they can get really strong.They get stronger with every resistance and I keep up in prayer and keep asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that comes.After praying,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil and I do feel stronger.I also ask that those who follow and read my blog posts keep up in prayers for me and also,to keep posting encouraging words in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have plans to do some grocery shopping.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and hung it up,alongside my other dress clothes.After that,I had a light lunch and I did my personal PC work.
I also decided to pay a visit to a friend of mine who lives locally within the city.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still on a daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.When this happens,I talk with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about this particular struggle and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It is great that I can talk about this particular struggle with the both of them and they help in ways that go beyond what any human therapy and medication can do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.I went back to sleep when it did.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out on the unnatural desires that I have in quite a few ways and every time when the temptations hit,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I always felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil every time that I prayed.I kept it up all day and I talked about them repeatedly until I felt that the temptation was gone thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus.I kept it up all through the day and God did his work.I am still asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog also pray for me and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I see that people do visit,but they never leave a comment or two on my blog to encourage me.Please leave an encouraging word or two as they,alongside your prayers,help keep me going in this fight to overcome these unnatural desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Please say a prayer for me everyone and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I also will continue praying myself.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for teh rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and hung it up,alongside my other dress clothes.After that,I had a light lunch and I did my personal PC work.
I also decided to pay a visit to a friend of mine who lives locally within the city.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still on a daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.When this happens,I talk with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about this particular struggle and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It is great that I can talk about this particular struggle with the both of them and they help in ways that go beyond what any human therapy and medication can do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.I went back to sleep when it did.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out on the unnatural desires that I have in quite a few ways and every time when the temptations hit,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I always felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil every time that I prayed.I kept it up all day and I talked about them repeatedly until I felt that the temptation was gone thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus.I kept it up all through the day and God did his work.I am still asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog also pray for me and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I see that people do visit,but they never leave a comment or two on my blog to encourage me.Please leave an encouraging word or two as they,alongside your prayers,help keep me going in this fight to overcome these unnatural desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Please say a prayer for me everyone and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I also will continue praying myself.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for teh rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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