Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual building and improving self esteem group,which went as well as expected.Before the group started,I had to help upbuild a fellow believer,who claimed that they were fed up with the world and the bad things that were happening.I advised that fellow Christian believer to talk about this with God in prayer and share with God exactly how you feel about this and really talk to him about it.They told me that that they would.After the group,I decided to head out to Best Buy to have a look around and see what they had new.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD continues.My moods and/or emotions are always going through up and down motions by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I never how my moods and/r emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.Whenever the symptoms of my diagnosis try to get the better of me or try to overwhelm me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came about again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was also a very overwhelming temptation at that.I really had to use everything I had to fight and resist this temptation as it was really enveloping me.I tossed and turned and even sat up as I tried to keep my hands off of my genitals in the process.Within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I kept up in prayer throughout the day because the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have really kept coming at me.I was tempted to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,although ejaculation does happen at times.I really had to pray and pray real hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask for strength to fight and resist the urges to give into the temptations.The temptation to act out on the unnatural sexual desires connected to SSA can be very overwhelming at times and at times,they can get really strong.They get stronger with every resistance and I keep up in prayer and keep asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that comes.After praying,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil and I do feel stronger.I also ask that those who follow and read my blog posts keep up in prayers for me and also,to keep posting encouraging words in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have plans to do some grocery shopping.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ