Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to type up a short business letter to a company,in which that I will be returning something that I bought from them asking for a refund and after that was done,I headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some much needed grocery shopping and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I unpacked all the groceries and put them in their proper places.After that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with on a daily basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing voices and sounds that others,aside from me,can't hear.As a result of this struggle with this double whammy that I have,I,at times,don't know if I am coming or going.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.It is simply a matter of talking to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about it and them helping me in sustaining me.They simply help me deal with this struggle effectively and I feel a tad better as a result.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help in getting me through this struggle,which gets even more difficult by the day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up and since I felt that I needed to use the bathroom,I walked there and as I walked there,the erection softened and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection was now fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after I got up a few hours later when I grabbed my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation to commit that act of uncleanness and impurity.The root cause of this fall was that I was still tired from sleeping the night before and I was still trying to fully wake up from that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations came around.They really do bombard me throughout the day.I kept up praying whenever the temptations came to try to envelope me.When they did,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after each prayer,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.While I am keeping up in prayer myself,I am also asking that those who follow and rad my blog posts also keep up in prayer for me and also,please do leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is because both your prayers and positive words of encouragement help keep me going in this struggle with this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that go with it.Please keep up prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and support in getting me though this struggle and giving me strength to fight and resist all temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ