Saturday, April 11, 2015

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and I headed out to the monthly Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into pajamas and I laid down as I was still feeling sleepy.After getting back up,I quickly did my personal PC work and listened to a little music while doing so.When that was done,I relaxed and enjoyed a classic TV episode from a DVD set that I have.I also would prepare my evening meal after doing so.
After eating,I watched another classic TV episode from a DVD set that I have.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Today,though it is,I had no problems in regards to temptations nor cravings to act out.While that was good,I was awakened from a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours when I was having a really terrible dream.The dream was about a married man and I having a secret Homosexual affair with each other.The man didn't resemble anyone that I know personally nor anyone that I have known previously in my life.Fortunately,I woke up with a gasp and I also had an erection as well.I simply dismissed the dream as being just that,a dream,and went back to sleep with no problems as the dream didn't recur nor come back.I went through the day today without any issues nor negativity.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am still needing your support daily and often.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Your support helps keep me going and helps strengthen my determination.Please continue to pray for me.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual and dinner at my niece's house,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Friday, April 10, 2015

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair over the sink and after I was finished with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I relaxed for much of the day as the day was really windy.I stayed home and watched a few classic TV episodes on a DVD set that I have.After that,I got dressed in casual clothes and I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched another classic TV episode from the DVD set that I have.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I changed into pajamas and I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two and also,it's even more difficult because of the mental illness combination that I have.I am still a work in progress and I know what I need to do is to try and get myself going in a positive way to get these SSA issues resolved.I am still having a hard time and at times,it can drive me up the wall.Right now,I am still hoping that the therapeutic road that I am going on will help in getting these issues resolved.I still have to get the unresolved anger,trauma and trust issues resolved and I am hoping that this new route will help me.I have found that this is the reason why I can't stop the constant falling and repenting in regards to SSA when I get tempted to act out by fantasizing and lusting after other men.I also still need spiritual direction aside from the secular direction that I am currently on in regards to my therapy.I still have to keep in mind that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong,unnatural and also,inappropriate.I also still have to keep in mind that my Heavenly Father,when he created all human kind on Earth,that he never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us is using and abusing it.I can't let the world nor the unnatural sexual desires that I have define nor dictate to me how I will act or the type of person that they presume for me to be.I have to keep in mind that I am a man made in my Heavenly Father's image and that my body is biologically hard-wired to be compatible with a female as my Heavenly Father created man and woman,male and female,and accepts no substitutes nor anything out of that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need the support of all of you,both prayerful and positive verbal,daily and often.I need to be constantly reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need to be shown that I am loved like a human being and I also need constant reaffirmation that I am a man and a male.Please continue to pray for me.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for simply being there and helping me get through the negative aspects of the struggle that I have.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a little TV for much of the afternoon.I also laid down and read for a while as I listened to some music.
Later on,as the early evening was approaching,I got dressed in casual clothes and I headed for a local church for a free meal,which was wonderful.After that,I for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-11 to pick up an ice cream treat.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the ice cream treat in the freezer and I did some more personal PC work.After that,I watched a little more TV before preparing to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I can say that I wasn't tempted by the unnatural desires that I have.I will continue to keep up in my prayers to my Heavenly Father so I can hope to conquer this terrible SSA and hopefully,also to heal and overcome it.At times,SSA has stressed me out and at other times,I don't know whether I am coming or going.I am learning day after day that the SSA struggle is a difficult one,but my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia make this particular struggle even more difficult because I have to also put up with sounds and voices that only I can hear and nobody else can.At times,I hear voices telling me to grab my private parts and mess with them and when that happens,sexual images of men cloud my mind.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this terrible condition.I know that it isn't my fault that I struggle with SSA as many factors and experiences in my life contributed to my struggles that I had no control over.Still,I am not letting those things be a crutch to me as I am going to continue in the fight and I am going to work on going to my Heavenly Father in prayer a lot more so I can finally conquer this terrible thing.I also still need prayers from all of you.I also still need some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need the support of all of you daily and often.I need to be both reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed and I headed for the place where the groups I attend each week are held.
The morning group went well.After it was over,I headed out to a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished eating,I headed back for the afternoon group.
The afternoon group went very well also.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local pizzeria by my house to buy a few pizza slices.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate the slices of pizza that I bought and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a couple of classic episodes of a TV show that I have on DVD.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
This morning,when I got out of bed,I felt that while I was sleeping,I had a nocturnal emission and I didn't discover it until I got out of bed.When I immediately felt the wetness on my right side,I changed my underwear and had my coffee after doing so.Today,I was so busy with my groups and such that I had no problems with any temptations today in regards to my SSA struggles.I am also feeling a lot better that I had been from the last several days.I was feeling very down and depressed for a while,but I am feeling much better and even more happier,but still,I am not at 100%.I think that I am only at 90% at this moment,but I guess that is better than a lower grade.I am hoping to be at 100% pretty soon.I still need prayers from all of you and positive verbal support in the comments section very much.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed for a local garage to get new tires put on my front wheels.After they were put on,I had lunch at a nearby pizzeria.After I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a while and after that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a classic TV episode from a DVD set that I have.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I am still feeling down in the dumps.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks to all of you and Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a couple of groups that I go to each week,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Monday, April 06, 2015

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair and face over the sink,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some important things.After that,I went to another store to pick up a few more important things.After I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a classic TV episode on a DVD set that I have.After was done,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting later,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I apologize for not really sharing where I am at in my struggles,but lately,my medication has been kicking in earlier than usual.I can barely type right now.I will hopefully start sharing where I am at in regards to my struggles tomorrow.I have been feeling so tired,exhausted and down in the dumps as of late and I don't know when I will be fully out of it.Please continue to pray for me.Please continue to leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your support daily and often.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to all of you for your continued support and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Sunday, April 05, 2015

Happy Easter to everyone in the world.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with my shower,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church.They were having an Easter breakfast in the morning before the worship service and that is why I headed for there without eating.
The breakfast was wonderful.The worship service was equally wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into casual clothes.I quickly did my personal PC work and when it was done,I headed out to a friend's place for dinner.
The dinner at my friend's place was wonderful.After hanging out there for a while,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket and picked up a few things.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my sweatsuit and did some more personal PC work.I was still feeling hungry,so I fixed up a light steamer dinner in the microwave and ate.After that,I watched a little TV.Later on,as it was getting late,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Tonight,I am again feeling really tired and exhausted.I had an eventful day and I am feeling sleepy.I will start reporting where I am at with my BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA struggles again tomorrow.I am also still feeling down in the dumps,although I did have a good time today.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need the support of all of you daily and often.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued support and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ