Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today since it was raining.I only went out once and that was going to the nearby Salvation Army thrift store to buy a new lamp as the one that I have in my living room quit working on me.After paying for that lamp,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I plugged the lamp in and it is great to have a working lamp again.After that,I just relaxed and took it easy for the rest of the day as it was raining today and there really isn't much to do when it rains.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and I also watched a little TV.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.It is never easy having to struggle with this psychiatric double whammy that I have,but my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ fully understand and are always there to help.They both help in sustaining me and also keep me much calmer and level.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I actually gave into temptation by "near masturbation" and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this occurrence.I really felt miserable when this happened.I really felt terrible as I feel that I am failing miserably in my quest to overcome this terrible SSA.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and for falling short of his law in regards to sexuality.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out,I bared all verbally and left nothing out as I prayed.I did feel better after I was finished praying and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I still need help from my fellow strugglers who continually read my blog.Please pray for me.I need prayers.I also need positive words of encouragement desperately.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I really need all the prayers and positive verbal encouragement that I can get.Please continue praying for me.Please don't be shy and leave me positive words of encouragement in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words do help keep me going.They both strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,since it was raining,I was hoping to get around to doing some much needed house cleaning,but my niece called and asked me to babysit for her kids while she went to work and until her live in boyfriend came home.I went over there and everything there went well.After her live in boyfriend came home,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after a few minutes,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a prescription.After paying the co-pay on it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to fix my evening meal and after that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this struggle to my Heavenly Father and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in keeping me sustained and also,on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.Yes,I did.It was to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I confessed everything to him.After that,I felt better and I truly believed and knew that I was truly forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I have been falling pretty much over the last several days.I really don't know why.Fellow blog followers,I would really appreciate some prayers right now.I desperately need them.I also desperately need some words of encouragement at this moment.I need them both.I am still going through a very difficult emotional period and these latest falls that I have been experiencing are terrible.I don't want to keep falling and falling every time that I turn around.Please continue praying for me.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both do help out in a lot of ways.Yes,they do.You never know how powerful prayers and words of encouragement can be.Please pray for me and don't be afraid to leave me some words of encouragement.They can be in the form of being upbuilded by scripture or just something that I know can help from the heart.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which was a wonderful meeting.We all shared insight from what we were learning from the Holy Bible and it was a very lively discussion.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some things and after that,I headed out again to turn in a whole bunch of cans and bottles that had accumulated in my car and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping and after that was done,I did some more grocery shopping at other stores and when I was finally finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I had a light evening meal of a bowl of soup and a sandwich as I got home very late in the day as I was out doing all of that grocery shopping.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a daily basis.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I headed for there.The erection started to soften as I headed for there and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men.I stayed out much of the day and that took my mind off of anything sexual.I simply kept myself busy with my spirituality group,turning in all the bottles and cans that I had and doing the grocery shopping.I stayed busy and nothing sexual entered my mind while doing so.Though I escaped unscathed today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two.I need both prayers and words of encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply ran an errand that needed to be run.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I picked up several more bottles and cans all over the place and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.I simply decided to get ready to turn in for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me calmer and much more level.It shows that I am never alone in this particular fight and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften.I walked for a bit and my genitals softened within a few minutes.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but staying out in the community kept my mind off of these things.I stayed out for a while and I kept my mind at what I was doing.This took my mind off of anything sexual with men and I managed to squeeze by without any problems.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of my fellow blog followers who regularly read my posts here to please continue praying for me.I also ask that when you visit,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much planned for today.I am still fighting cold symptoms,though they're not as bad as they were when my cold first started almost two weeks ago.I am still taking Echinacea teas and taking Echinacea and Golden Seal capsules.I am hopping that by the end of the week,my cold will be completely knocked out.
I still kept busy with life despite the cold.I had to run errands for myself.I had to buy some things that I needed really desperately.I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up these things and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I spent the whole afternoon putting empty cans and bottles from the back seat of my car into black garbage bags after putting the stuff that I bought away.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work while preparing my evening meal.
After eating my evening meal,I went out to run a few more errands again.I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of other things.After that,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the evening as I had to get ready for bed and get up tomorrow morning.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.As I have said before and I will say again,I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a daily basis.They both help in keeping me sustained and also keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned the opposite way of the bed,but that only made the erection throb.I proceeded to get out of bed to walk a little and when I started doing that,the erection started to soften.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.But today,since I was out in the community,I really didn't have much to worry about.I simply went through the day without the thoughts and I made it through.Though I did escape today,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers really desperately.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both help in a lot of ways.They help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply cleaned up around the house and relaxed for a bit.The only real thing that I did was that I had to babysit for my niece's kids.After a few hours with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and also relaxed.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help me in keeping me sustained and also,much calmer and level.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by another erection and I was tempted to grab it and masturbate it away.I sat up in bed and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.As I was on my way there,the erection started to soften.My genitals were fully soft when I was finished and I went right back to bed and to sleep when finished.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasies of other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men clouded my mind and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these urges.I did feel better and much stronger after I was finished praying.Though I did this throughout the day,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words very desperately.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I even had the opportunity to do another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation today.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that does make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me much calmer.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation yet again by masturbation.Yes,there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved in this latest fall as it was yesterday.I really felt terrible when this happened as I felt that I really seriously sinned against my Heavenly Father as a result of this latest fall.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me and I begged for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I left nothing out as I prayed to him and I really poured myself out to him.After praying,I felt much better and I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father forgave me for my sins and washed the slate clean after doing so.I simply moved on with the rest of the day as it went along.I was home the rest of the day after coming home as I really didn't have much to do.I simply stayed home and took it easy and just watched a movie.Because of my latest fall,I need to keep my mind focused on positive,healthy and holy thoughts.I need to get my mind off of anything sexual pertaining to men and focus on positive and holy thoughts about men.I need to keep in mind that men were made simply to be friends with each other in the forms of friendship,bonding and healthy authentic connections,and not for selfish purposes,such as all forms of sexual activity associated with the so called "Homosexual/Gay" culture and lifestyle.I have to keep saying to myself that I am a man and a male and that male is both my gender identity and my sexual identity.The thing with "Homosexual/Gay" is that it is a simply a label and at the same time,a false identity.Why is this particular identity false?It is because our Heavenly Father at the beginning of things created man and later created woman as a companion and compliment to him.Our Heavenly Father approves only of happy and healthy Heterosexuality as he created man and woman for that reason.Heterosexuality is the true human sexual identity and not Homosexuality,which also includes Bisexuality,which like "Homosexuality/Gay" is as much a false identity as "Homosexual/Gay" is.I have to continually keep in mind that our creator,who is our Heavenly Father and sovereign Lord,only approves of man and woman having sexual activity and relations with each other in the bonds of holy marriage,which is a very sacred thing to our Heavenly Father as he only approves of men and woman marrying each other and having relations with only each other.Our Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused in the way that the rest of the world is using and abusing sexuality at this particular moment.To my fellow blog followers,I really need prayers real bad.Please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also desperately need some positive words of encouragement from all of you.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement from all of you.I am in desperate need of both of these things.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help strengthen my determination to keep going in this struggle and to continue in overcoming it and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please fellow followers,I desperately need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks to advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ