Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which was a wonderful meeting.We all shared insight from what we were learning from the Holy Bible and it was a very lively discussion.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some things and after that,I headed out again to turn in a whole bunch of cans and bottles that had accumulated in my car and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping and after that was done,I did some more grocery shopping at other stores and when I was finally finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I had a light evening meal of a bowl of soup and a sandwich as I got home very late in the day as I was out doing all of that grocery shopping.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a daily basis.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I headed for there.The erection started to soften as I headed for there and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men.I stayed out much of the day and that took my mind off of anything sexual.I simply kept myself busy with my spirituality group,turning in all the bottles and cans that I had and doing the grocery shopping.I stayed busy and nothing sexual entered my mind while doing so.Though I escaped unscathed today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two.I need both prayers and words of encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ