Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply cleaned up around the house and relaxed for a bit.The only real thing that I did was that I had to babysit for my niece's kids.After a few hours with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and also relaxed.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help me in keeping me sustained and also,much calmer and level.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by another erection and I was tempted to grab it and masturbate it away.I sat up in bed and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.As I was on my way there,the erection started to soften.My genitals were fully soft when I was finished and I went right back to bed and to sleep when finished.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasies of other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men clouded my mind and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these urges.I did feel better and much stronger after I was finished praying.Though I did this throughout the day,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words very desperately.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ