Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was the start of the weekend.The weather was also rainy and a little windy.As a result,I didn't have too much to do.
This morning,I did my personal PC work and I also waited for a shipment to come in.It was a shipment that I have been waiting for most of the week.I finally got it but it was very agonizing waiting for it to come in.
Today,I went over to my grand niece's birthday party.She turned 9 this year and I went over there to share in the celebration.It was a wonderful party.Though it was,I was feeling a spell of the blues again.I went to the party in a depressive funk.But I didn't let it stop me.I only briefly went home to check and see if the package had arrived,and as stated,it did.After that,I went back to have a slice of cake with the people.
After eating the slice of cake,my mom and I went home and she got a phone call from our next door neighbor.I relaxed and watched a DVD that I put in.While doing that,I got a phone call from a friend of mine saying that he was going to meet me at the place tonight.I told him okay and went back to watching the DVD.
After what I was watching was over,I bathed to get ready for going out.I just wanted to make sure that I was cleaned up to go out.
After my bath,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work and post my day on here.
Though I am feeling pretty good,I did have another brief,but mild,spell of depression.It happened just prior to me going to to the birthday party.But as stated,I didn't let the spell stop me from going there and see how my grand niece enjoyed the gifts that were given her.Though depressed,I still liked the sight of her opening her presents and enjoying them.I also took a picture of her while she held up one of her gifts for me.It was a nice party and I was glad that she enjoyed them.
At the moment,I am not feeling any depression.When I got home,I took a couple of St.John's Wort capsules to help ease my depression and they seem to be helping because I am not feeling any depression.I am feeling pretty good right now and that is better than sadness.I am hoping that my time out tonight will also help make me feel better.
I will be going out to sing up a storm tonight.I am hoping that the evening will work out for me.Though I rarely have a bad night,I still hope for things to go well.I am hoping that everything works out for the better and that I have a blast singing.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.Despite the mild depressive spell,I had no cravings nor images creep up into my mentality.There have been times in the past where there were problems when I was struggling with spells of the blues but today,I was having no problems.This does not mean that I have it beat.I have to be on guard that the feelings will come back when least expected and I'll just handle them when they come.I am also not having any temptation to watch any pornography at the moment and that is great.Still,that temptation will also come when least expected and I will also handle this when it comes.But right now,I am not having any temptation and that is great.
Tomorrow afternoon,we are having dinner over at my sister's house.My brother in-law is going to be frying up some fresh fish for dinner.I can hardly wait for that to come tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up nor was there any other problems.I simply did my work and that was it.After I was done,I dropped off everything at the rehab center and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some things before heading back out to run a couple of errands.Firstly,I went to get a gift for my brother in law for Father's Day.I also went to cash my paycheck.After that,I headed back home.
When I got back home,I registered all the bills at the Where's George site and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating a light dinner,I went out to run another errand.I went to a card shop to pick up a few Father's Day cards.I also went to the nearby supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.I headed home to drop everything off and I went for a drive.
On the way back,I stopped off at my sister's house to talk with my brother in-law for a while.He had quite a few others over as well and I really didn't get to talk too much with him.But we did have some small talk and that was better than nothing.I headed back home after that.
Though I am feeling okay,I am also feeling a little depressed.But this current spell is mild and it will pass.I am not feeling any real sadness at the moment and that is great.At least,I don't feel like crying.But again,it will pass and I will be feeling better soon.I just hate it when spells of the blues just come upon me when least expected.But I am just going to weather the storm and I am hoping to come out of it unscathed.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the only good thing is that I am not having any problems.I am not having any cravings to act out or watch any pornography.Plus,no images are creeping up into my mind.This has been a pretty good week so far,despite the brief episode that I had this week.I am still feeling the mild depression but that will pass and I will be feeling better soon.
Tomorrow night,I will be going out to sing even though I don't feel like it.But I do it for the people and I always hope that they enjoy it.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the amount of time that I had.I also had to help one of the job coaches with something.After the shift was over,I ate lunch and I piled all the clean laundry bags that I had into my 4X4 and I dropped them off at the rehab center.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had the house all to myself for a while because my mom was out having her hair done.I watched a DVD for a while until she got home.She looked a lot better than she did in a long time.
I also managed to get my personal PC work done.I also canceled memberships on several Yahoo forums in order to help reduce my e-mail load.I hope that it does indeed help.I need to find some more constructive things to do rather than spending so much time on the computer.Don't get me wrong,I like being on my computer and I am saving gas because I used to go to the public library to do my computer work.But I realize that I spend too much time online.I am working on cutting my online time in half and not be so much on it.I am hoping that what I am doing helps.
I also ran a couple of errands.I went to a local supermarket to get a couple cans of soup for dinner alongside a pack of cheese and a box of cereal.The second errand was that I went to a local Dollar General store to get a small thing that my mom needed.I also managed to spend some time over at my sister's house for a while during all of this.
After eating,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work,including posting here.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am feeling a lot better now.I am not feeling any depression at the moment nor am I feeling anything else negative.I had a pretty good day and I am also feeling better about myself right now.I don't know what it is but the depression that I felt last week is practically gone.I am not feeling any sadness nor am I feeling anything related.I guess that I am still looking forward to my father's visit in July.I am looking forward to seeing him and spending some time with him.I am hoping that the time with him goes well.I have a feeling that it will but still,I hope.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode early this morning.It was when I was trying to get back to sleep after using the bathroom.I was also manipulating my sexuality as a result of images creeping up into my mentality.The best thing was that I managed to stop myself from making the situation get worse where I would wind up acting out by masturbating.I did managed to fall back asleep for about an hour before I got up.
I am also not having any temptation to watch any pornography at the moment.This is also making me feel the way I am feeling.I am glad that I am no longer ensnared by the lure of pornography.It feels great to know that I now have a choice whether to watch or not to watch.Though I am not tempted to watch any porn,I still have to be on guard.I know that the temptation to watch porn in any way,shape or form will come when I least expect it.But at least,I can now choose not to watch it.I will just have to handle the temptation to watch pornography when the temptation comes.But for now,I am not having any temptation to watch any of that garbage.I am also hoping that the way I am feeling stays for quite a while.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I simply put the bags in my 4X4 and headed for the work site.When I got there,I had lunch before before sorting the laundry out.
After eating and sorting out the laundry,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a 1/2 gallon of orange juice.After paying for the juice,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the juice off and I got ready for my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.
My session with the counselor went well.It was shortened because there was something going on and she had to take care of that.As a result,the session was cut short.But I did get something out of it and it was wonderful.We made another appointment and we called it over.
On the way home,I stopped over at my sister's house and talked with my brother in-law for a while.It was a good conversation.We talked about a lot of personal things and about my father's upcoming visit,which is supposed to take place in July.After talking with him,I headed for home.
When I got home,I registered some bills at the Where's George site and I went out to get something to eat.My mom and I each had a cheeseburger and a chicken sandwich from Wendy's for dinner with some tater tots on the side.It was wonderful and after I ate,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.
I am feeling pretty good.I am not feeling any depression at the moment.There are also no negative thoughts or images creeping up into my mentality.I guess that now I am really getting to the roots of the emotional issues that I am struggling with at the moment,I am feeling better.There are also a lot of things that I am anticipating.I am anticipating a reconciliation with my father and though his visit is still several weeks away,I have a feeling that the reconciliation will work out well.I am already getting the good feeling that everything will work out well and that this will be a big success.For a long time,I have held onto to my mom's image of my father and now,I am letting go of that.I am going to get to know my father a little bit better.I am also looking forward to this visit and spending some time with him.Again,I have the feeling that everything will work out well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.There were no images or cravings.I'm also not having the temptation to watch pornography at the moment.Though I am not,I still have to be on guard.The temptation will come when I least expect it and I will just have to deal with the temptation when it happens.Again,I am feeling pretty good and I am hoping that these feelings last for quite a while.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly.I did pick up a few bags of laundry today and took them to the worksite.After sorting them out and starting a couple of loads,I headed over to the social club.
After spending some time there,I decided to concentrate a lttle bit more on my work.I started two more loads of laundry and read from my book for a while as I waited for the loads to get done.As lunchtime approached,I decided to go back to the social club to eat.
After lunch,I continued with my job and read again from my book.
Though I am feeling okay,I did have a brief depressive spell during my work time.It was a case of sudden sadness again but over the course of the afternoon,I started to feel better as the day was winding down.After bagging the laundry,I dropped it off at the rehab center and I headed straight home.
As son as I got home,I was to head back out again to go to a laundromat to dry my underwear.
As I was waiting for my underwear to get dry,I read a couple more chapters from my book and when the laundry was done drying,I bagged it all and headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work.I also waited for dinner to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news and decided to do some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day despite the brief depressive spell that I had.
At the moment,I am not feeling any depression nor am I having any negative thoughts.I am feeling pretty good and I am also feeling hopeful.I am hoping that these good feelings will last a while.I know the blues can come when least expected and I am prepared for that.I am not saying that I am hoping for the blues to come.I am saying that depression will happen.I am not feeling it now and that is actually a good feeling in itself.But again,I know that depression will happen again.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having no problems.I am not having any cravings to act out nor are any images creeping up into my mentality.I am also not having the temptation to watch any pornography in any way,shape or form.I am still feeling the good feelings of having thrown away some porn that I had.Again,I had to get rid of all the porn because it was having a negative impact on my recovery from SSA.Pornography has no purpose in the world.The only things that porn does is give people a negative image of sex in general and also,it makes people look like degrading filth.It also makes sex in general look cheap and disgusting.Again,pornography is garbage that has no purpose other than to degrade people and make them look dirty.It's still giving me a feeling of satisfaction that I hope never leaves.I am glad to be free of pornography.Still,the temptation to watch it is still there.I will have to deal with it on a "I'll handle it when the temptation comes around" type of basis.So far,I am not having the temptation to watch porn at the moment,but I know that the temptation will come when least expected.I have to be on guard.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes well without any messes to clean up.I also have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorrow afternoon and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I did have an appointment with a practitioner at the local hospital.This was to monitor my progress on how I am living with the emotional condition that I am struggling with.
Before all of that,I had a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.I also watched a couple more After School Specials on the DVD set that I own.After all of that,I went to my appointment.
My session with the practitioner went surprisingly well.I told her everything that has been happening with me.I also told her about a dream that I had nearly a week ago.I dreamed that I was on a bridge and I accidently fell off the bridge and plunged into the river of water underneath it.This dream woke me up out of a deep sleep.I also couldn't get back to sleep after that dream that night.I told her also about the depression that I was feeling last week.I even shared with her that I got rid of all the pornography that I had in a dumpster away from my house so it would all go to a garbage dump because that is where pornography truly belongs.I even told her about all the conversations that I was having with my father and that the conversations were very pleasant.She praised me about some of the progress that I made and she also made an adjustment in my medication.I told her that the reason why I am talking with my father again is because I want to let go of the anger that I have for my father and that I want to truly forgive him for what he did to the family.She was also going to prescribe me with an anti-depressant to help with my sleep patterns but I begged off.I don't want to be overly medicated.I am not saying that taking medication is not good nor am I saying that it wouldn't work.It is just that I heard so many negative information about anti-depressant medication that I don't want to take any chances.I do value my life but taking a risk like that,I feel,would be too much.I am just going to have to go with the adjustment in my medication and I will hope for the best.
After leaving the hospital,I stopped at my regular drug store to get my prescription filled and drop it off at home.I also headed back out because I had to pick up a few things at a couple of local supermarkets.After doing the shopping,I headed for home and waited for dinner to get ready.
After eating,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I did register a dollar bill at the Where's George site.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am feeling pretty good.I have had no depression happen to me at this moment.I am feeling a little bit better about myself.I am feeling great all over and I am hoping that this feeling lasts for a while.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I had no cravings to act out nor any images creep up into my mentality.I guess that getting rid of all the pornography that I had has helped me feel better.I also have no temptation to watch any pornography at the moment.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling really good.I had a very good day today.
Today,I decided to get started on putting my vinyl album collection in boxes.It was pretty hard work and I sweat quite a bit,but I was glad to get around to doing that and feel great about a job well done.I do have the feeling that I am going to need some more boxes to complete the job.I just didn't realize that I had so many albums.It is going to take some time but the job will get done.I am just getting started because I do want to lighten the load a little for the people that are going to be helping me out.Again,I am going to have to get a few more boxes to get the record albums in there.
Today was also a nice day.It was sunny and mild.The best thing to happen was that my brother in-law came over to fix the toilet mechanism and now,the toilet is working good.
I did have one small errand to run.I had a whole bunch of empty bottles and cans in the back of my 4X4 that I needed to get rid of.I wanted to make some room to make my job a little bit easier.I needed the space.I am glad that they are now turned in and I can rest easily.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went well.It was a pretty good night.It did start off slow but did get busy later on.I had a pretty good time last night.
On the way to the place last night,I made a really big step that I hope will benefit me later on.I got rid of all the disgusting pornography that I had in my closet.It was a whole bunch of videos,magazines and books that had to go.I have made the point clear that pornography is garbage and that it has no place in my world if I want to overcome SSA.Pornography is also mental poison and I am glad to be finally rid of the porn that I had.It is now in a dumpster somewhere waiting to go to a garbage dump anywhere out of the city.I am also making a resolution not to go to any porn shops and to stay away from any porn sections in stores that have a section such as that.Again,if I want to overcome SSA,I needed to rid myself of pornography and not have it in any part of my life.I am glad to have finally gotten rid of that garbage and again,I don't want any part of it in my life.
I am feeling pretty good.I am not feeling any depression right now.It seems that only a few days ago,I was feeling really down and sad by a sudden case of the blues that had dropped on me when least expected.But tonight,I am feeling better about myself than I have been feeling in a long time and I am hoping that this feeling really lasts.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I had no issues with images or cravings and this is contributing to my good feelings.This has been a pretty good week and I am hoping that the new week goes as well as this one.I had only one brief episode this week and I guess that I may be doing something right.I am hoping that I can get through this week without having any problems.
I am thinking of going out to have a drink with the guys over at the place where I entertain and I am hoping for some good conversations with them.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have an appointment with the local hospital practitioner tomorrow afternoon and I am hoping that the session goes well.I am also hoping that the rest of the day also goes good.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ