Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
I didn't do too much today.Since we had a couple of small rain showers earlier,I stayed home.I simply took it easy and did my personal PC work for the day.After that,I simply watched a little TV and made my bed.
I also laid down for part of the early afternoon.As stated,it was raining and on rainy days,there's really not a lot to do where I am living.So,I laid down.
Later on,I ran a couple of errands for my mom.It was only a few small items that my mom needed and I ran out to get them.The weather did improve with some sun for only few hours.But now,the sun is no longer shining.I am now relaxing and taking it easy.I have a big night ahead of me tonight and I want to be ready.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.I always look forward to singing up a storm and just having a good time while I am doing it.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.I have a feeling that everything will work out well tonight.Still,I hope for it.
As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't decided what I am going to do.But whatever I plan,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went by a lot more smoothly than in previous days.This time,both the dryers worked great.I got to use both of the dryers and it was wonderful.I got a lot more done.After I was finished,I dropped all of the clean laundry at the rehab center and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a bank to cash my paycheck and I also had to make a deposit at my normal bank.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax for a bit and enjoy some nice music in my bedroom.This time,I felt a little bit better and I could lay down in my room without having to worry about having a relapse.Still,I had the craving but I didn't give in.
After eating,I registered all my bills at Where's George and a couple of them were already registered and when I typed the serial numbers in,one came from Florida and the other from Ohio.I sent them on their way tonight when I bought a previously viewed DVD at Blockbuster for only $3.99.It is a classic western called Valdez Is Coming that stars Burt Lancaster.I also bought the film 28 Days Later for only $9.99.I also ran an errand for my mom while I was out for much of the evening.It was a nice night to be out and I enjoyed myself.
I also had a talk with a friend of mine who I have been trying to get ahold of for a long time.He called me this afternoon and it was wonderful to talk with him.He told me that he had been busy with his job and that he was taking all the added overtime to pay off all the bills that had been piling up when he had no money due to being laid off.He said that he was happy that he was no all caught up and he can relax.Still,he informs me that he needs to work so he can also pay his other bills.
I can't believe that the weekend is finally here.It was a pretty rocky week with one of the dryers not working and I have also been on an emotional roller coaster ride.Plus,the weather hasn't been very well either.It has been an ever changing pattern but I am hoping that we don't have anything like this for a long time to come.
As for the weekend,I will be singing up a storm tomorrow night and I am hoping that the night works out for me.As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it benefits me in a positive manner.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
The work shift went by a lot more smoothly than in previous days.This time,both the dryers worked great.I got to use both of the dryers and it was wonderful.I got a lot more done.After I was finished,I dropped all of the clean laundry at the rehab center and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a bank to cash my paycheck and I also had to make a deposit at my normal bank.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax for a bit and enjoy some nice music in my bedroom.This time,I felt a little bit better and I could lay down in my room without having to worry about having a relapse.Still,I had the craving but I didn't give in.
After eating,I registered all my bills at Where's George and a couple of them were already registered and when I typed the serial numbers in,one came from Florida and the other from Ohio.I sent them on their way tonight when I bought a previously viewed DVD at Blockbuster for only $3.99.It is a classic western called Valdez Is Coming that stars Burt Lancaster.I also bought the film 28 Days Later for only $9.99.I also ran an errand for my mom while I was out for much of the evening.It was a nice night to be out and I enjoyed myself.
I also had a talk with a friend of mine who I have been trying to get ahold of for a long time.He called me this afternoon and it was wonderful to talk with him.He told me that he had been busy with his job and that he was taking all the added overtime to pay off all the bills that had been piling up when he had no money due to being laid off.He said that he was happy that he was no all caught up and he can relax.Still,he informs me that he needs to work so he can also pay his other bills.
I can't believe that the weekend is finally here.It was a pretty rocky week with one of the dryers not working and I have also been on an emotional roller coaster ride.Plus,the weather hasn't been very well either.It has been an ever changing pattern but I am hoping that we don't have anything like this for a long time to come.
As for the weekend,I will be singing up a storm tomorrow night and I am hoping that the night works out for me.As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it benefits me in a positive manner.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went by smoothly.The best thing about it was that a repairman came to check the dryer and see what it needed in order to fix it.I am hoping that this can be resolved so we can start using two washers again.It has been pretty monotonous using only one washer while the laundry has been piling up.There is a mountain of blankets at the moment and I am hoping that it can get less and less over the next few days.Of course,there will be the weekend and then the week will start all over again.Again,I am hoping that the problem with the dryer is resolved so two washers and dryers can be used.
After I ate lunch,I bagged all the clean laundry that was done and after waiting for the repairman to get to the work site,I dropped it all off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I went to a supermarket to buy a box of herbal sleep tea.I drink this while taking my psychiatric medication to help me sleep pretty good.I know that lately I have been losing sleep as of late but I am hoping to resolve that.I am hoping that starting tonight,I can finally get the much needed necessary sleep that I need.I headed straight home afterwards and didn't stop for anything except when I needed to.
When I got home,I tried to take a nap.But I also wound up masturbating again.I did ask to be forgiven by the creator and while I felt better,I still had only a small measure of guilt.But I'm feeling better now and I am hoping that I can combat this habit once and for all.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work.I started it at work during break and it is now finished.I am hoping that the rest of the day goes well.
I also had to deal with a case of the runs(i.e.diarrhea) for much of the afternoon.I went to the bathroom around 3-4 times in a row,including during dinnertime.Though I did take diarrhea medicine,I still had at least one more loose bowel movement.I haven't had any for the past 45 minutes and I am hoping that the last loose bowel movement is hopefully and really my last.
The weather was rainy for most of the day.The sun shined for a few hours but it did thunder for a bit afterwards.I really didn't hear any rain falling during that time but I guess that it was a light passing shower.I am hoping that this insane ever changing weather pattern stops pretty soon.This is probably why my system has been going haywire or it could be because I took a little too much fiber laxative last night before going to bed.I guess that I have to be careful in how I consume that.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went by smoothly.The best thing about it was that a repairman came to check the dryer and see what it needed in order to fix it.I am hoping that this can be resolved so we can start using two washers again.It has been pretty monotonous using only one washer while the laundry has been piling up.There is a mountain of blankets at the moment and I am hoping that it can get less and less over the next few days.Of course,there will be the weekend and then the week will start all over again.Again,I am hoping that the problem with the dryer is resolved so two washers and dryers can be used.
After I ate lunch,I bagged all the clean laundry that was done and after waiting for the repairman to get to the work site,I dropped it all off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I went to a supermarket to buy a box of herbal sleep tea.I drink this while taking my psychiatric medication to help me sleep pretty good.I know that lately I have been losing sleep as of late but I am hoping to resolve that.I am hoping that starting tonight,I can finally get the much needed necessary sleep that I need.I headed straight home afterwards and didn't stop for anything except when I needed to.
When I got home,I tried to take a nap.But I also wound up masturbating again.I did ask to be forgiven by the creator and while I felt better,I still had only a small measure of guilt.But I'm feeling better now and I am hoping that I can combat this habit once and for all.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work.I started it at work during break and it is now finished.I am hoping that the rest of the day goes well.
I also had to deal with a case of the runs(i.e.diarrhea) for much of the afternoon.I went to the bathroom around 3-4 times in a row,including during dinnertime.Though I did take diarrhea medicine,I still had at least one more loose bowel movement.I haven't had any for the past 45 minutes and I am hoping that the last loose bowel movement is hopefully and really my last.
The weather was rainy for most of the day.The sun shined for a few hours but it did thunder for a bit afterwards.I really didn't hear any rain falling during that time but I guess that it was a light passing shower.I am hoping that this insane ever changing weather pattern stops pretty soon.This is probably why my system has been going haywire or it could be because I took a little too much fiber laxative last night before going to bed.I guess that I have to be careful in how I consume that.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There was no mess to clean up.I simply sorted out the laundry after I ate lunch.It wasn't really anything much nor a very big load.It only took me a minute.
When I did go to get my lunch first,I had a hard time.There was a guy trying to get an electronic wheelchair with his girlfriend sitting in it into the social club but the battery fell off.The guy was tatally clueless as to how to get the battery connected properly.Not only that,it started to rain and this was really making me ansy.I almost lost my temper with these two because I was waiting in the rain and I was also hungry.After nearly 10 minutes,they were finally in and I ate.After eating,as stated,I sorted out the laundry and headed for home.I didn't go back to the social club because I still felt angered by the whole nonsense thing that happened earlier and I really didn't want to be around anyone in the place because I was afraid that if they said the wrong thing to me,I would really explode.I didn't want that to happen so I went straight home.
On the way home,I stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store in my hometown and picked up a few things.It was simply a cassette tape case and a few recordable cassettes and a few record albums.I also waited within the store because of the weather outside,which was a torrential downpour of rain accompanied by thunder and lightning.I also forgot to bring my umbrella with me into the store but I left it in the car because I didn't want to forget it in the store.After the rain calmed down,I went home.
After I got home,I called my brother in law on his phone and told him about a problem that I was having with my window in one of the upstairs rooms.He checked it out while I was at my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.
Since I did bring that up,my session with my sexual abuse support counselor went great.I simply shared with her the day and what had happened.I also shared with her what had happened within the past two weeks regarding my mother's health and my emotional state and my relapses.It was great to talk with her and share with her what had been going on.I left and stopped at a store on the way home to pick up something for dinner tonight.
When I got home,my brother in law informed me of the problem with the window.He informed me that he had to air nail it so it wouldn't go broke,which he did when he came back later in the evening after dinner.It is now fixed.I have nothing to worry about for a while.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.I also have a sexual addicts support group tomorrow evening.I really haven't decided if I am going to go or not.But if I do,I hope that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There was no mess to clean up.I simply sorted out the laundry after I ate lunch.It wasn't really anything much nor a very big load.It only took me a minute.
When I did go to get my lunch first,I had a hard time.There was a guy trying to get an electronic wheelchair with his girlfriend sitting in it into the social club but the battery fell off.The guy was tatally clueless as to how to get the battery connected properly.Not only that,it started to rain and this was really making me ansy.I almost lost my temper with these two because I was waiting in the rain and I was also hungry.After nearly 10 minutes,they were finally in and I ate.After eating,as stated,I sorted out the laundry and headed for home.I didn't go back to the social club because I still felt angered by the whole nonsense thing that happened earlier and I really didn't want to be around anyone in the place because I was afraid that if they said the wrong thing to me,I would really explode.I didn't want that to happen so I went straight home.
On the way home,I stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store in my hometown and picked up a few things.It was simply a cassette tape case and a few recordable cassettes and a few record albums.I also waited within the store because of the weather outside,which was a torrential downpour of rain accompanied by thunder and lightning.I also forgot to bring my umbrella with me into the store but I left it in the car because I didn't want to forget it in the store.After the rain calmed down,I went home.
After I got home,I called my brother in law on his phone and told him about a problem that I was having with my window in one of the upstairs rooms.He checked it out while I was at my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.
Since I did bring that up,my session with my sexual abuse support counselor went great.I simply shared with her the day and what had happened.I also shared with her what had happened within the past two weeks regarding my mother's health and my emotional state and my relapses.It was great to talk with her and share with her what had been going on.I left and stopped at a store on the way home to pick up something for dinner tonight.
When I got home,my brother in law informed me of the problem with the window.He informed me that he had to air nail it so it wouldn't go broke,which he did when he came back later in the evening after dinner.It is now fixed.I have nothing to worry about for a while.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.I also have a sexual addicts support group tomorrow evening.I really haven't decided if I am going to go or not.But if I do,I hope that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went by smoothly.I simply did what little I had to do in the short time allowed.But by the end,I got a lot done.After finishing,I bagged everything and dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home afterwards.
On the way home,I had to make a couple of personal stops along the way.It was nothing much.It was just dropping off a newspaper at a couple of houses.I headed straight home afterwards.
When I got home,I laid down for a while.I was feeling tired and I felt that a nap would do me a world of good.I really did not go to sleep like I had hoped.I simply relaxed for a while before deciding to finish my personal PC work.It wasn't an awful lot to do.I started it during break time at work and I managed to finish it at home in a short period of time.
While on my lunch hour,I dropped off some important papers at a government office downtown.After that,I headed back to work to finish my job.
After a light dinner,I decided to do some more much needed catching up on some more personal PC work.I am glad to have done so.
I have been feeling okay but I have also had some emotional stress and strain.I wound up masturbating today while trying to take a nap.I was feeling tired and I was also feeling at edge for some of the stuff that has been happening within my family.I did ask the creator to forgive me for giving in to the habit,I still felt guilty for a while after that but as the rest of the day progressed,I began to feel better.I really need to learn better techniques on how to STOP masturbating.I feel that I am doing something wrong and that is causing me to give in to the temptation to do so.I have been also simply manipulating my sexuality in order to masturbate.Plus,images from the past of nude men and men having their erect genitals out have been popping back up.I really don't know what has been going on.Why have they been coming back?I'm sick of these things coming back and I am sick of having these negative sexual feelings towards members of my own gender.I will NEVER believe that "born that way" crap because I have never believed it and one of the contributing factors of my struggles with SSA has been the sexual abuse that I had endured when I was younger when I was used for other guys pleasures by being manipulated into performing oral sex on them constantly when they displayed their erect genitals and me giving in when they did.I still remember the rape that I endured when I was 16 years old.Again,I want to overcome these feelings and the immoral urge to manipulate my sexuality and then progressing to masturbation.If anyone out there has any ideas,PLEASE HELP ME.Thanks.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.I also have a meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorrow afternoon and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work day went by smoothly.I simply did what little I had to do in the short time allowed.But by the end,I got a lot done.After finishing,I bagged everything and dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home afterwards.
On the way home,I had to make a couple of personal stops along the way.It was nothing much.It was just dropping off a newspaper at a couple of houses.I headed straight home afterwards.
When I got home,I laid down for a while.I was feeling tired and I felt that a nap would do me a world of good.I really did not go to sleep like I had hoped.I simply relaxed for a while before deciding to finish my personal PC work.It wasn't an awful lot to do.I started it during break time at work and I managed to finish it at home in a short period of time.
While on my lunch hour,I dropped off some important papers at a government office downtown.After that,I headed back to work to finish my job.
After a light dinner,I decided to do some more much needed catching up on some more personal PC work.I am glad to have done so.
I have been feeling okay but I have also had some emotional stress and strain.I wound up masturbating today while trying to take a nap.I was feeling tired and I was also feeling at edge for some of the stuff that has been happening within my family.I did ask the creator to forgive me for giving in to the habit,I still felt guilty for a while after that but as the rest of the day progressed,I began to feel better.I really need to learn better techniques on how to STOP masturbating.I feel that I am doing something wrong and that is causing me to give in to the temptation to do so.I have been also simply manipulating my sexuality in order to masturbate.Plus,images from the past of nude men and men having their erect genitals out have been popping back up.I really don't know what has been going on.Why have they been coming back?I'm sick of these things coming back and I am sick of having these negative sexual feelings towards members of my own gender.I will NEVER believe that "born that way" crap because I have never believed it and one of the contributing factors of my struggles with SSA has been the sexual abuse that I had endured when I was younger when I was used for other guys pleasures by being manipulated into performing oral sex on them constantly when they displayed their erect genitals and me giving in when they did.I still remember the rape that I endured when I was 16 years old.Again,I want to overcome these feelings and the immoral urge to manipulate my sexuality and then progressing to masturbation.If anyone out there has any ideas,PLEASE HELP ME.Thanks.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.I also have a meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorrow afternoon and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, July 21, 2008
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.But I still had quite a bit to do.First,I had to take my mom to the local medical facility to have her blood work done and while she was doing that,I went to a supermarket in the area to get some groceries for her.It wasn't very much.It was simply a few things that she felt that we needed.After I did the shopping,I went back to the facility to pich her up.She was done when I got there.
After coming home,I did my personal PC work and it was quite a bit.After finishing,I left to finish everything I needed to finish.
First of,I had to go to the post office to mail out a money order that is a past due payment for services provided by the Christian counselor that I have been having telephone sessions with.I am hoping that the money order gets to him soon.I also had to mail out an important letter for my mom.I headed for home afterwards.
On the way home,I stopped at Blockbuster to purchase some previously viewed DVD's.They had tons of them for $3.99 and I picked up some really scary gems.I am hoping that they are really good.
After a light dinner,which we had late due to a visit by my brother in-law,I decided to catch up on some much needed PC work.I am glad that I did.My days is now complete.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for teh day tomorrow.FJ
Today was my day off.But I still had quite a bit to do.First,I had to take my mom to the local medical facility to have her blood work done and while she was doing that,I went to a supermarket in the area to get some groceries for her.It wasn't very much.It was simply a few things that she felt that we needed.After I did the shopping,I went back to the facility to pich her up.She was done when I got there.
After coming home,I did my personal PC work and it was quite a bit.After finishing,I left to finish everything I needed to finish.
First of,I had to go to the post office to mail out a money order that is a past due payment for services provided by the Christian counselor that I have been having telephone sessions with.I am hoping that the money order gets to him soon.I also had to mail out an important letter for my mom.I headed for home afterwards.
On the way home,I stopped at Blockbuster to purchase some previously viewed DVD's.They had tons of them for $3.99 and I picked up some really scary gems.I am hoping that they are really good.
After a light dinner,which we had late due to a visit by my brother in-law,I decided to catch up on some much needed PC work.I am glad that I did.My days is now complete.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for teh day tomorrow.FJ
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The day started out rainy and it was really coming down.It really wasn't a big storm but it felt like it.I also had a icky feeling in my stomach but that passed when I turned on all the fans in the house and the feeling went away when I sat in front of one in the family room.
I still had something that I needed to do.I ran an errand for the house and I also did a couple of things for myself.It was nothing much.It was just a few small things that we needed.I went home after I was finished.
While it was raining,I managed to finish my personal PC work before heading out.There really wasn't much happening around the town so I stayed home for much of the day with the only exception being the errands.There is really nothing much to do in the city that I live in when it rains.They were having a charity chicken barbecue at the local Salvation Army but because I didn't want to dilute my appetite before eating dinner,I simply bought a bottled water for only $1.00 to help them out and left.I was feeling thirsty and I felt that I was getting what I wanted while helping out an organization.
After a light dinner,I decided to catch up on some much needed late personal PC work.I also had a talk with a friend of mine from out of town and that was a wonderful talk.Overall,a pretty good day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.I even ran into an old friend from the previous lounge where I used to entertain and that even made it even more special for me.It was a wonderful night.I had a blast and I am looking forward to next week.
Before the night is through,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two at the place where I entertain and I am also hoping to have a nice talk or two with anyone that is there.
Tomorrow is my day off.I will be taking my mom back to have some tests done at the local mediacl facility and I am hoping that everything goes alright.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ
The day started out rainy and it was really coming down.It really wasn't a big storm but it felt like it.I also had a icky feeling in my stomach but that passed when I turned on all the fans in the house and the feeling went away when I sat in front of one in the family room.
I still had something that I needed to do.I ran an errand for the house and I also did a couple of things for myself.It was nothing much.It was just a few small things that we needed.I went home after I was finished.
While it was raining,I managed to finish my personal PC work before heading out.There really wasn't much happening around the town so I stayed home for much of the day with the only exception being the errands.There is really nothing much to do in the city that I live in when it rains.They were having a charity chicken barbecue at the local Salvation Army but because I didn't want to dilute my appetite before eating dinner,I simply bought a bottled water for only $1.00 to help them out and left.I was feeling thirsty and I felt that I was getting what I wanted while helping out an organization.
After a light dinner,I decided to catch up on some much needed late personal PC work.I also had a talk with a friend of mine from out of town and that was a wonderful talk.Overall,a pretty good day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.I even ran into an old friend from the previous lounge where I used to entertain and that even made it even more special for me.It was a wonderful night.I had a blast and I am looking forward to next week.
Before the night is through,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two at the place where I entertain and I am also hoping to have a nice talk or two with anyone that is there.
Tomorrow is my day off.I will be taking my mom back to have some tests done at the local mediacl facility and I am hoping that everything goes alright.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ
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