Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at an estate sale in my hometown to see what they had for sale and since I found nothing that interested me,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I relaxed while watching the rest of a movie that I started watching last night before going to church for the Good Friday service.After that was over,I did some more personal PC work and did some dishes that needed to be done.
After eating,I decided to type up some e-mails that I have been delaying for some time.After that was done,I prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get to bed early so I could get up early for the Easter Sunday church activities.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I fell twice to this terrible thing in the forms of temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind while I was still in bed and upon arising.I also manipulated my genitals to these images and stopped when orgasm was approaching.I really felt miserable after I fell and on both occurrences,I went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.During prayer for the second occurrence,I asked that my Heavenly Father help me find my gender insecurities.I don't know what they could be and I asked him to reveal them to me.At the moment,I still don't know what they could be,but I am am going to ask those that I know who are Christians to see what they say.I have a habit of doing this to myself and I really don't know why.I am hoping to maybe get some help to see what could be causing me to do this to myself.I am hoping that the e-mails that I sent to fellow Christians can help me.I need to know what could be causing me to habitually manipulate my private parts to these images of men clouding my mind.I also need to know how I can get rid of these unwholesome and degrading images when they come to mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I really need your prayers right now.I also need some positive verbal encouragement right now in the comments section.I need both of these types of support to keep me going.I also need then both to keep my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by anyone.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be a busy Sunday for me.I am going to go to church for the Easter Sunday activities and after that,I will be going to my niece's house for breakfast.After that,I will also be going over to a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in quite a while.After these things are over,I haven't gotten anything else on my agenda for tomorrow,so I think that this will all be it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the Easter Sunday holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished cleaning up,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I headed out to run a few errands.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money.After that,I picked up a lunch at the local Taco Bell.After that,I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watch some of a movie while I had my lunch.After watching the movie for a while,I had dinner and when I was finished with that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and headed for church to attend the Good Friday service.
The service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and watched the rest of the first part of a two part movie.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting and that was great.I simply kept busy doing what I had to do and that took my mind off of anything sexual.I simply ran the errands and simply took the time to get them done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day as well as desperately.I am all alone in my SSA struggles in my hometown as there are no support groups themed to help men who struggle with SSA such as myself and I wish that there were.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need encouraging words as much as I need prayers.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming Easter holiday weekend,I have plans to go to church on Sunday,to go have dinner at my niece's house also on Sunday and to attend a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in years also on Sunday.It will be an eventful Sunday for me.On Saturday,I will simply stay home and take it easy,but I will go out only if I have to.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming Easter holiday weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.I showered after having my coffee and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I when that was done,I headed out to run a small errand.I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a small necessity that I needed and after getting some gas,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did some more personal PC work and after having a light dinner,I dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to church for the Maundy Thursday church service.
The church service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into my night clothes.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation yet again.This time,it was more for emotional reasons rather than sexual.I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting then near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Though the reasons this time were emotional,it still didn't make it right for me to do.It is still an unclean habit to do and I have to continually keep that in mind because I can't indulge in uncleanness and impurity while being a Christian.Don't get me wrong,I know that I am imperfect and I will fall short from time to time,but I can't let my sexuality own me.I have to work on owning my sexuality rather than let my sexuality own me.When a person lets something own them,that person is a slave to that something that owns them.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin as each and every one of us is responsible for their own actions and must own up to that.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I did manage to get through the rest of the day unscathed,but there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need positive verbal support to help keep me going.I also need it to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and most importantly,to help keep my motivation and determination strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Good Friday evening church service,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done cleaning up,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was done with that,I headed out to turn in a job application in the next county and when I dropped it off,I headed for a Salvation Army thrift store in the area and when I was finished there,I headed for a Goodwill store within the area and when I was finished there,I decided to stop by a Best Buy store in the area and pay a bill.After that,I headed for home and it was a long drive.
On the way home,when I got back into my hometown,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind causing to fantasize and lust after men.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my falling into sin.I asked for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short of his law.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I admitted to my Heavenly Father everything that I did when I fell short and when I was finished,I felt better knowing that I was truly forgiven.Though I escaped unscathed for the rest of the day as a result of me doing what I had to do and also the fun things that I did after that,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to stand my guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.I need to really work on asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support because I don't have much support around here as a result of a lack of programs that help men like me.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and again,please continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Maundy Thursday evening service at my church,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I went into the shower and I cleaned myself up.After I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had lunch and I popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.Since today was chilly,windy and a little snowy,I chose to stay home and take it easy.There really wasn't much going on today as a result of the weather,so I felt that it would be best if I stayed home and took it easy.It was great that I got to relax for a while and watch a movie.After the movie was over,I did some more personal PC work.
During much of this,I received a couple of phone calls,one from my new vocational rehabilitation counselor and one from another counselor from the job placement agency.I am hoping to hear from at least one place where I dropped applications off at.I went on with the rest of the rest of the day.
After eating,I decided to do some praying that I had been putting off.I had to talk again with my Heavenly Father and tell him some things.I had a lot to get off of my chest and I needed to do it right then and at that time.I relaxed and did some more personal PC work after that.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I can report that I wasn't tempted to do anything sinful in a sexual sense.I had no problems with sexual images of men clouding my mind nor did I have any temptations to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these images.I had no temptations to fantasize and lust after other men.This was great that I had no problems nor temptations to do anything of that sort.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about it or anything,It is just that I had to stand my ground and be ready for when these terrible temptations come around.I had to be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute when least expected.I have to remember that Satan and his minions are out there waiting to turn me against the truth of the Holy Bible and my Heavenly Father's original provisions for sexuality.Again,I have to stand up and be watchful of these things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going.I also need both of these types of supports to keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of hoping to place another job application somewhere tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I was hoping to get out to turn in another job application that I filled out and maybe hit a thrift store in the area that I was going to drop it off,a huge rain and wind storm kept me close to home.I first stopped at a local gas station to get some gas.after getting gas,I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I did more personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to watch an episode of a classic TV show that I had on DVD and I later did some more personal PC work.I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and yes,there was fantasy and lusting involved and I would also masturbate the rest of the way when I approached orgasm.I really felt miserable and downcast as this happened.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin today while praying to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and knew and believed that I was truly forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support from all of you.I have fallen three times too many over the past few days and I have felt miserable and downcast as a result of my falls.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need both of these supports because I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans as my area is going to get more windy and rainy weather.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hit the shower to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and changed into casual clothes.After that,I had a light lunch and headed back out to turn in some empty cans and bottles at a local supermarket.After that,I headed to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some necessary things and after that,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up a can of naturally decaffeinated iced tea mix.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player while relaxing.
After eating,I decided to fill out another job application and I did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies nor lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to any sexual images of men.I guess that staying busy with what I had to do today kept my mind off of anything sexual with other men.It was wonderful not to deal with temptation today.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,though I did escape today unscathed,I am still asking that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comment section.I really need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support.These types of support do help keep me going and they also keep both my determination and motivation strong.It also reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in that job application,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ