Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at an estate sale in my hometown to see what they had for sale and since I found nothing that interested me,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I relaxed while watching the rest of a movie that I started watching last night before going to church for the Good Friday service.After that was over,I did some more personal PC work and did some dishes that needed to be done.
After eating,I decided to type up some e-mails that I have been delaying for some time.After that was done,I prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get to bed early so I could get up early for the Easter Sunday church activities.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I fell twice to this terrible thing in the forms of temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind while I was still in bed and upon arising.I also manipulated my genitals to these images and stopped when orgasm was approaching.I really felt miserable after I fell and on both occurrences,I went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.During prayer for the second occurrence,I asked that my Heavenly Father help me find my gender insecurities.I don't know what they could be and I asked him to reveal them to me.At the moment,I still don't know what they could be,but I am am going to ask those that I know who are Christians to see what they say.I have a habit of doing this to myself and I really don't know why.I am hoping to maybe get some help to see what could be causing me to do this to myself.I am hoping that the e-mails that I sent to fellow Christians can help me.I need to know what could be causing me to habitually manipulate my private parts to these images of men clouding my mind.I also need to know how I can get rid of these unwholesome and degrading images when they come to mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I really need your prayers right now.I also need some positive verbal encouragement right now in the comments section.I need both of these types of support to keep me going.I also need then both to keep my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by anyone.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be a busy Sunday for me.I am going to go to church for the Easter Sunday activities and after that,I will be going to my niece's house for breakfast.After that,I will also be going over to a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in quite a while.After these things are over,I haven't gotten anything else on my agenda for tomorrow,so I think that this will all be it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the Easter Sunday holiday ahead.FJ