Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Before I did anything,my locally living sister and I got together to discuss some things with me in regards to a couple of bills.We talked for about five minutes and after I left her house,I proceeded to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to leave a message with a lawyer to get back to me to get everything rolling in regards to some legal work that needs to be done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.My moods fluctuate at times by the day or by the minute.I never know how I will be mood or emotional wise.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes it even more tougher.It's bad enough having BPD,but having schizophrenia mixed in makes it more difficult,because aside from the mood changes,I also have to put up with hearing things such as voices,sounds or other things that others can't hear aside from myself and at times,it drives me up the wall.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about these struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It is difficult struggling with any type of mental illness,but with God and Christ leading the way,I feel more at ease a little bit.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also for leading the way.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and this time,it was a very overwhelming urge.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I tossed and turned and when that didn't work,I sat up and I continued sitting up until the erection softened.When it did soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I actually gave into temptation later on in the morning when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect/near erect or leading up to orgasm and stopping.When this happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and after that,I felt better.Throughout the day,as I have in the days prior,I am continuing in prayer whenever that sort of temptation starts to come around.I don't want to do anything that would displease God nor offend him.I simply continue to throw the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I keep praying until the temptation is reduced to nil.After that,I went on with the rest of the day and when the temptation came back,I prayed again and after that,continued moving on with the day.I feel better now knowing that God and Christ are there to help and lead the way.It is great to know that whenever I talk about any type of temptation that I am having with God,I feel better knowing that God hears,listens and is there to help me whenever I ask him to do so.It shows that I am not alone in my fight or struggle and that is wonderful.I am also still requesting prayers from those who follow my blog and read the posts as I still need everyone's prayerful support.I will also continue praying myself.Thanks for the prayers and Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,it is church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy as I have really nothing else planned.But if I have to leave the house for anything,I will leave it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ