Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to do my personal PC work,but there were some problems on Yahoo.When I was signed into my Yahoo e-mail account,the e-mails were having a hard time loading.I kept pushing retry,but that also didn't work.I signed out and tried the other web browsers that I have downloaded,but unfortunately,the problem persisted.I decided to sign out of Yahoo for a while and waited for about half an hour to return to doing my work,which worked.I finished my work and I proceeded with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed for the rest of the week.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with and at times,it can get pretty difficult and exhausting.My moods and/or emotions very by the day and sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I am still attending my therapy sessions,which tomorrow will be when I meet with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of the power of God and his son Christ Jesus collectively whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great that I am not struggling alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for the power that they provide to help get me through all the negative stuff that my disability can bring and try to bring me down.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out and that is when the erection started to soften.I got up and started to walk and the erection got even softer.After using the bathroom,I headed back to bed and to sleep and when I got back to bed,the erection had fully died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting to sexual images of men.Whenever these images try to envelope me,I always have the urge to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,ejaculation does occur in the midst of it.When these urges came around at me,I immediately turned to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations.I kept up in prayer to him and his son Christ Jesus until the urges died down and my mind was clear.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around and I also ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight this particular urge and to get the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog to keep up in prayer for me because I am still in desperate need of prayer as these temptations have been coming at me from all sides.Please keep up in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your encouraging words and prayers help keep me going.Please don;t be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for also being there for me and for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,as stated,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I am hoping that it all goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ