July 8th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today,despite some setbacks.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,my niece called me saying that she was going to work and I accompanied her because I had to use her car again to do what I had to do.After she was dropped off at her work,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to pay a much delayed bill that I had to pay and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,my niece gave me a ring the minute that I was in the house and I had to go back out again to do a favor for my next door neighbor whose car battery was dead.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk for her and on the home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the milk off at my neighbor's house and went in to do my personal PC work and listen to some music while I was doing that,but my niece called me and told me that she was feeling sick and needed to see her doctor immediately.I immediately got into her car and drove to where she was working and she took over the driving after that and her doctor told her to check in at the nearby hospital,which she did at it's emergency ward and after she entered the hospital,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dined on some Japanese raw fish delicacy that she was hoping to have for her lunch,but got sick to her stomach and that was both my lunch and dinner for the day as it was pretty filling.After that,I watched some classic TV reruns on TVLand and simply relaxed.I also managed to finish my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day despite some setbacks.I also managed to get that recommended reading of the Holy Bible for the day done as well.I also heard from my niece and she informed me that one of her girlfriends was going to pick her up and take her home.I couldn't go out and drive because I had taken my medication and when it kicks in,I can't leave the house nor drive under the influence as it is against the law to drive under the influence of anything that can impair anyone's ability to operate any type of machinery.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get me through the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I tossed and I turned,but that only made it throb.I started to get out of bed and I walked a little bit and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was extremely vulnerable as the negative things that we happening to me today with my niece getting sick and getting worried about her as a result of her being sick.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and I also said a few words on behalf of my niece as well.I felt much better and much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time as I need all the prayers that I can get.I also need some encouraging words by my followers.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and they also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ