Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I went to get some gas at a local gas station.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
I also had to babysit for my niece as she went to work and I watched her kids until her live in boyfriend came home.When he did,I headed for home.
On the way home,I was thinking of going to get some take out food,but my niece gave me a few hot dogs to eat and instead,I went to get a loaf of rye bread and a can of baked beans at a couple of local stores.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate what I had bought and watched a little TV.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.As I go from day to day,I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult and/or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better as I am still coping with the issues connected with my psychiatric disability.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both these intervals.I sat up on both occasions and though it was slow going,the erections softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with images other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these lustful and fantasy images.I prayed real hard for strength to fight and resist these temptations.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I did feel better after doing so.The struggle with SSA is a difficult one indeed,but I can't let these unnatural sexual desires that I have own me nor envelope me.I have to show them that I own them and not the other way around.It is difficult,but I know that it can be done.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads that posts that I write here.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need encouragement and the more I get,the more determined I become.The more prayers I get,the more I want to continue in pursuit of overcoming this terrible SSA and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ