Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to print something important.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby office surplus store to make copies of my resume.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation during the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away and yes,I was lusting and fantasizing after other men while I did that.I felt so miserable after falling and I hated it that I did.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that my sins were forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I did keep busy throughout the rest of the day as I was out of the house for much of the day.I simply kept busy and through the rest of the day,I didn't get tempted very much.Though I fell today,I wanted to try and not fall again,though it wasn't easy.I think that it's because I am trying to start relationships with other men and I am striking out big time.I keep asking myself "What am I doing wrong?"The only men that I know are those who make obnoxious and sexist remarks about things having to do with sinful sexual activity and it does throw me off when they do that.I am now really desperate as I am trying to start these types of relationships.I am again appealing to all of my blog followers who have been reading my blog and following it to please keep praying for me as I am going through this rough emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as your prayers and your encouragement both help keep me going.I feel like that I am being ignored here and I hate being ignored.Please pray for me and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for doing that.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ