Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues to move forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.Now that I am a member of the church again,I had my first communion and it was wonderful.After some terrific fellowship with all the other members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills and a couple cans of soup.After paying for them.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch of the soup and after eating lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did the dishes and straightened out my bed as well as made it.I laid down for a while and I listened to some music.I just wanted to relax and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and after that,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to move forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or any emotions that I have will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still in therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed.Even when it might seem to be getting too difficult for me to handle,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever that happens.I simply talk about my mental health struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also ask for help in sustaining me from it all and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of talking with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and letting them keep me at ease and under their good care.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and their help in sustaining me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and while doing that,the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that I will be tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.The temptation,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and the war at times can get ugly.There are also times that I feel like surrendering to these desires and go out and act out on them,but I willfully choose not to do that.Why?Because that is what Satan wants me to do.Satan wants me to abandon what God has set forth in his law and go out and live my life as the unnatural desires that I have want me to.When that happens,I turn to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to keep me on the path to restoration and also,to keep me in his word and to help me keep to his natural and perfect law for mankind through his sacred and blessed word,the Holy Bible.I simply throw any temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and my sin is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,since it is a holiday and I have no group,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the day ahead.FJ