Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to go as it goes.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first called the garage to get an estimate on car repair as I need to get it repaired in order for it to pass inspection.After getting that,I called my niece up to see how she was doing as she has been sick for a while.She said that she still wasn't feeling good and I offered to do her grocery shopping for her as a favor as I had nothing else to do as a result of it being a holiday and I didn't have a group to go to.She really appreciated the offer and I went and did the shopping.
Before heading for the store to do the shopping,I left a note for a friend who I have been trying to get a a hold of,but keep getting their voice mail,with me asking them to call me the minute that they read the note.After that,I did the shopping.
After the shopping was done,I headed back home to put all the groceries away and after I did that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.Since I had no group meeting today,I felt that it was a good way to loosen up and enjoy myself.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go as it goes,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is never an easy thing to deal with,which can get pretty tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as direction.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.With them leading the way,I feel better and I feel more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating early this morning.It was mostly emotional,though there was also a little bit of lusting involved as well.After the fall,I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as a result of me being forgiven and that the slate is wiped clean by God,who forgets all sins confessed as he forgives them.As a result of a death in my family,my emotions are really in a tizzy as a result of it.Plus,I am thinking more and more about sinful stuff as I am now in this state of utter emotional disarray.The only thing that I really regretted as that I didn't go to God in the name of his only begotten son Christ Jesus when I was being tempted.Don't get me wrong,I do sincerely believe that I am forgiven for my sins and I am not going to dwell on the failure.But I have to learn to turn to God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I am being tempted to act out in many ways.I am asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading the posts.I really needs prayers and support right now as I am desperately trying to get out of this emotional rut that I am currently in.Please pray for me as I am going through all of this.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.Thanks to all of you in advance for prayers offered.I also ask that you pray that I go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am being tempted.Thansk again in advance for prayers offered and all the support that I can get.
Tomorrow,I will be meeting with a case worker to help me fill out an aid application and also,to help me get the aid that I desperately need.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ