Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time that I had.After dropping the clean laundry off,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped some things off at home and I headed back out.
I went to a local supermarket to get some food for dinner tonight.My mom and I wanted something different so I went out and bought a few things that we needed.I managed to find al most everything that I was looking for and after I paid for the stuff,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took it easy while finishing my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news and decided to go out for a while.I went to pay my brother in law a visit.He was working on a house that he would like to sell once he's finished.We talked for a while and when he went back in the house to finish the job,I headed back out.I drove for a while around the town and I stopped over at my sister's house to pay my niece and her kids a little visit.I didn't stay long and it was raining.After a few minutes,I headed back home.
I am now relaxing and taking it easy.I am also anticipating the new day tomorrow.Tomorrow is the day where all the TV stations are switching over to digital TV.But what I am anticipating is the day itself and not the changeover.I am hoping that the day goes well for me and that everything works for the better.
Though I am feeling okay,I am feeling depressed again.I have been feeling this way since I have been home from shopping.I started the day feeling pretty good but now,a sudden sadness has crept up.I don't know why I am feeling this way.I guess that since I am making a big step in wanting to let go of the anger that I have for my father and forgiving him for all the hurt that he has caused,I guess that I really don't know what to expect nor what to anticipate.I need some help and I really need some encouragement.If anyone out there can give me any insight on how I can go about this.I know that my visit with my father is still a long way off but I need to know how I can go about this in the proper way.Again,if anyone out there has any ideas,please share with me.Thanks.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I didn't have to contend with any images or cravings to act out.I also didn't watch any pornography today,though the temptation to watch is still there.Whenever I am feeling depressed,my temptation to watch porn is strong.I used to watch porn online as a "pick me up" whenever I was down,but I am trying to find alternate ways of being cheered up.I haven't watched any porn in several months but again,the temptation to watch porn is still there.I am not going to watch any porn because porn is not going to give me the fulfillment that I truly need.Pornography is trash.I have to continue keeping that in mind.I also have to keep reminding myself of all these things.Pornography is something that I truly don't need because aside from being garbage,it is also mental poison.I am just going to have to fight this temptation until it is dead.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ