Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work as I didn't have the time to finish and I got dressed quickly as I had to get to my spirituality group and also,be on time for it.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen that I eat lunch at every Thursday,but got a back lunch as they were going to have an important meeting there.I simply took my bag lunch and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off everything and I headed back out again to deposit a little bit of money in my checking account.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my bag lunch and I finished my personal PC work.I simply relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.
I did go back out to get a sandwich to have with some soup that I had as that was going to be my evening meal.After eating that,I simply went back out for a while and when I came back home,I stayed home.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and keeping me on a much calmer level plain.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me get through the negativism's of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.Thanks to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up and I proceeded to get out of bed.Though it was slow going,it made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and subsequently went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was again tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't too big of a thing as I kept busy with things.I simply kept my mind on other things,and didn't let my mind wander off into forbidden territory,in regards to anything having to do with sexual things.I kept my mind focused and I had a pretty good feeling all over about that.While today wasn't big on anything like that,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts to please keep praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Your prayers and words of encouragement do matter and they do help me in more ways than one.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ