Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty so-so day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up nor was there any trouble.I simply sorted out the laundry when I got to the worksite and after I ate lunch,I hung out at the social club for a while and I headed for home.
When I got home,I laid down for a while and took a nap.I was feeling tired and a little anxious and I felt that the nap would do me a world of good.I didn't know how long that I slept but I still didn't feel any better.I was still feeling anxious and I didn't know whether I was coming or going.I have been having these feelings for too long and I am hoping that these feelings go away very soon.I am already getting sick of these feelings and I want to feel like myself and not like the depression and anxiety that I have been feeling.I am hoping that these feelings go away soon.I am already getting sick of them.
I did have a talk with a therapist and she simply advised me to start taking the samples that the nurse practitioner had given me.I took the advice and took only one.But I am not feeling good.My stomach is hurting a little and so is my head.I will have to take something for the pain later on.I have taken so much medication and have withdrawn from some and the feelings that I have been feeling are not the way that I want to feel.I am feeling depressed and anxious over the days coming and going and I don't know how long I will be able to take it.If anyone out there can help me how to get through this,please do so.Thanks.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I talked with the Drop-In Center again and the conversation was yet another pleasant one.I will be calling tomorrow and I am hoping that the conversation goes well.
I am still feeling down and I have been sighing like crazy.I have been doing nothing but sighing as of late.As stated,I am feeling the worst form of depression that I have ever felt and I am hoping that this will pass.It has also been very weird.I feel down for most of the day and then it lets up when the evening rolls around.As stated,I have been feeling this way for far too long and again,I am hoping that it will pass and I will be myself again.Any form of advice and encouragement is greatly appreciated.Thanks.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can report that,despite the depression,I am not having the temptation to watch any pornography at the moment.In the past,when I was depressed,I used to watch porn as a pick me up and it worked only half the time while the other half of the time,it didn't.But I now know that I do have a choice and I am not going to watch any porn.After I am done here,I am going to do something else or just close off the internet.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ