Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed quickly to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I went to my usual building and improving self esteem group today and I did get quite a bit out of it.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.This is one of my daily struggles aside from my struggles with SSA.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or at times from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating an erection away.The emotional tailspin that happened to me last week is still upon me.After I gave into that particular temptation,I really felt miserable as it was yet another falling caused by negative emotions that I endured last week from the persecution to the stressful days on Thursday and Saturday.I really prayed hard to God and asked him for his mercy and forgiveness for falling and I asked all of that in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I did feel better.After that,I moved on and kept up in prayer to God and his son Christ Jesus all day.On the advice of a minister that I communicate with via e-mail,I read Romans Chapter 7 and it showed that Paul humbly talked about his struggles with sin and that he wants to do what is right,but his sinful nature keeps him from doing that.The minister told me to take great comfort in the words of the Apostle Paul to the Christians who were living in Rome.It did show me that even though that like Paul,I also want to do what is right,but my sinful nature also prevents me from doing that.Not that I am enslaved to sin,which I am not,but it does show that we all give in to temptations at times and we will sin as we are all still imperfect and will fall short from time to time.When we do,God will be there to forgive us as he understands that we are imperfect as a result of Adam and Eve's sin and he won't bear a grudge as a result of our inherent imperfection.Paul also shows that God is there to forgive and he will always forgive anyone who confesses their sins to him as again,he knows that we are imperfect.That,in itself,is very comforting to know.I again continue that all of you continue in prayer for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both you prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ