Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to do a little bit more shopping.After I was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always a daily struggle for me.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next as the roller coaster ride can go up and down on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to talk about this particular struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours twice when throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I sat up during the first one and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had to get up and use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I entered the bathroom to use it.After I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I went through several bouts of temptation throughout the day.I had to really have God and Christ get involved here because I want to keep a clean mind and think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts about my fellow men and not the opposite.I really had to throw every temptation on both God and Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.Throughout the day,I never know what will enter my mind as the idea of indulging in sinful sexual activity with another man can start flooding my mind and try to take over my entire being.But I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful and pray very hard whenever these things happen.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all the help that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ