Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After having a light lunch,I headed out to drop off some newspapers at a few people's houses.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.Aside from that,I also have to endure the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my BPD struggle even worse.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is great.I do feel a tad better knowing that they are helping me to keep level and get me through everything in the day in regards to this particular struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was also the hardest that I had ever been in a long time.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up out of bed and I headed there and as I did,the erection started to soften and after I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after finally getting up out of bed and while sitting in a chair,I started to manipulate my genitals to the point of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual and lustful images of men were clouding my mind as I was doing this.I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting came at me the entire day.I kept praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me by giving me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as they kept coming.The more I put up a resistance,the stronger that the temptations get as they keep coming.It seems that Satan and his minions are not going to give up until I decide to abandon the healing process from SSA,reject the truth about SSA that I already know that Satan and his minions hate that I know and simply go an indulge in all the sinful sexual activity known to man and that the Holy Bible condemns.I am willfully going to continue fighting and I am also going to keep going to God in prayer and asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to continue giving me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to also continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also provide.
Tomorrow,I have a dinner at my church's fellowship hall in the evening.As for most of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ