Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I firstly dropped off some free newspapers to a few people that I knew and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in a few bottles.After that,I headed over to see a friend to see how he was doing and to talk over some things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up and endure the symptoms of Schizophrenia and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both times.I tossed and I turned until the erection started to soften and I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after getting up that involved "near masturbation"(substitute for my typical "manipulate(ing)my genitals" phrase as I was trying to find a more mature way to avoid the common immature sexual slang phrase "playing with myself" in hopes that I try to avoid tempting anyone who reads what I post here on my blog)when sexual images of men clouded my mind as I was still trying to wake myself as I was still sleepy,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and for the lust that I had that motivated the "near masturbation" that I fell in to.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into that particular temptation.I felt better after I finished and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to continue to indulge in this sort of thing.The temptations were very powerful and overwhelming.I kept asking my heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and to give me the needed strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to fall into sin again.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning that each and every day.I am always in the need of help and support from anyone out there who also struggles with SSA.I am always in need of emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am alone in my hometown and there are hardly any support groups out there in my hometown that can help me out.This is why I am always asking that those of who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need all the encouraging words that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging are very valuable to me.They also both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made nay plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day for today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ