Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I took out a drive out to find a particular country road as I am heading for a charity spaghetti dinner at a church out there on Saturday.After finding the road and the church where the dinner will be held,I headed back home and when I came back into the city,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and to show him what I recently obtained.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and emotions change by the day or times,by the minute or moment.I never know how my moods and emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery from BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle that I have seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to suffer alone and that is great.Both God and his son Christ Jesus help in sustaining me and keeping me on an even keel throughout this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This time,the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate them was really overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened.When it did,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them nearly erect and/or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better.Though it has been over a month since my mom passed away,I am still going through a lot of painful,difficult and very complex emotional patterns as I am still continuing to work to adjust to the loss of my mom and being on my own.My moods and emotions have really been hit or miss and it has been making my struggles with SSA pretty rough.I am also getting the temptation to go out and seek other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them,but as I stated in previous posts,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.Throughout the day,I am throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time I do that,the temptation is reduced to nil and I feel better.If the temptations come back,I throw them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ again and the same results come back as the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading my blog posts.I am also asking for encouraging words of support to get me through this really difficult time.I will also continue in prayer myself.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am also hoping to have lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ