Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues unabated.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow church brothers and sisters,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I immediately changed into my home suit and hung my church suit in the closet.After that,I heated up a can of pasta for lunch and ate it.After lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed.
Before heating dinner up,I went out to buy something to have alongside my dinner.When I got home,I heated up what I wanted and ate.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful as I do worship at a very wonderful church where the people are very loving,accepting and friendly.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery continues unabated,it is still a pretty rocky road that I am on.Then again,when you are a person who struggles with BPD,each and every day is always a struggle.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute and down and not so good the next day or minute.I am on a constant emotional roller coaster ride as a result of struggling with this disorder.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.I am not saying that human based therapy isn't good.The power that God and his son Jesus Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy can do as they both are more powerful than any humans on Earth.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after that happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and I felt better knowing that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I kept in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ because I was getting tempted throughout the day to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping,though at times,orgasm does happen during this particular unclean habit.Though it has been over a month since the death of my mother,I am still working on getting over her death and trying to continue to work through all the mixed,mostly negative,emotions that I am going through.I have been giving in pretty much,though it isn't as often as I have been giving in.My failures are not as chronic as they used to be,though I still feel miserable as a result whenever I do fail and ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.Since relying on God and Christ more,I am not falling as much now and I guess that it is a good thing.I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I have any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.With their help,I can get through anything.I am also still asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,some encouraging words to help keep me going and continue to fight these unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also going to go to a copy store to make copies of my resume.Aside from these things,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ