Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,before doing anything,I got a call from the job placement counselor.He asked me if I could be ready by a certain time so we could go to a local nursing home for an interview and I said sure.After hanging up,I jumped into the shower to clean up.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I checked on my e-mail for only a few minutes and after that,I got dressed up and eagerly awaited for the job placement counselor to pick me up to take me to the nursing home.
When we got to the nursing home,I learned that it really wasn't an interview in the true sense.It was to fill out an employment application and hand it over to the person who conducts the interviews and they informed me that they should be contacting me in a few days.After that,the job placement counselor advised me to continue putting in more applications online in the meantime as he was dropping me off at home.I told him that I would and he dropped me off.
When I got back into the house,I got out of the dress clothes and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and I had a light lunch.I also got dressed in my normal casual clothes to proceed with the rest of the day.
I dropped off some newspapers at a few friend's houses and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that were in the back seat of my car.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put in a few more applications online and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours twice when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals.On both occasions,I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erections softened after I did that.I went right back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to "near masturbate" to these things as well.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all through the day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked for strength to fight and resist these urges.I felt stronger and much more in control after praying.I also knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me everything that I asked for and I felt it all over my heart and mind.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very stressful and difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen my determination to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with daily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ