Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
I had a few things on my agenda.Firstly,my niece and I went through some old papers that had accumulated in the house in big piles to find another important paper,which wasn't found.After that,we bagged everything worthless and useless in garbage bags and she left.After that,I had a light lunch and proceeded to get on with the the main thing on my agenda today.
I had to go to my general doctor to get the results of my PSA and I waited almost two and half hours so the doctor can give me the results and according to him,everything checks out good,but I am still having groin pains and frequent bathroom going throughout the day.I left the office and headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things needed.After that,I headed straight home.
Regarding what my general doctor said,I am going to get a second opinion from a urology associates office that I was a patient of years ago and see if everything is really okay.I need to see what is really causing these problems.I also need to see if there is a way to stop this.I am at the point where the pain has gone from mild to mildly excruciating.Again,I am getting a second opinion.
When I got home,I heated up a can of chili that I bought and that was dinner for tonight.After that,I relaxed and took it easy while watched a DVD.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This makes me feel a tad better knowing that God and Christ are there leading the way and making sure the symptoms of my psychiatric disability don't go from bed to worse or even more extreme.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when I walked to the doorway to my room,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitalia to lustful images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and the genital manipulation.I immediately asked God to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.For much of the day,I wasn't tempted very much as I kept busy with the work that my niece and I did and also,for being in the doctor's office for much of the day.It was simply doing these things that kept my mind off of anything sexual with men and kept my mind clear.While I went through the rest of the day not feeling any sorts of temptations,tomorrow is another day.I have to keep in mind that the temptations will come when least expected.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows my blog and reads my posts to please keep up in prayer for me.I am also asking that you also leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ