Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went out to pay a couple of bills that needed to be paid.After that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up something that I needed for myself.After that,I went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the withdrawn money and after putting it in a safe place at home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions very by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It does get complicated and I at times wished that I didn't have to go through any of this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.As I headed for the bathroom,the erection started softening and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in other ways,such as lusting,fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping with these lustful images that also motivates fantasizing with the images.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges as they came at me from all sides.I am always fighting these unnatural sexual desires that I have and at times,the temptations to act out in them gets stronger with each resistance.The SSA struggle is a difficult one indeed and it gets tougher each and every day.It never lets up and it can feel like that you are being emotionally drained by each day as you continually struggle to stay strong with all of these terrible temptations coming at you from all sides.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes at me,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I still get tempted to lust and fantasize as well as play with myself temptations to lust and fantasize come around and those are the temptations that I am constantly fighting against.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy by expressing any encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section alongside keeping up in prayer for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans,But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ