Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to pay a visit with my case manager over at her office.It was for an early afternoon time and I went there to discuss some things with her.
The meeting went as well as could be expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to see how another friend of mine was doing.I also spent a few minutes with him and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still struggling with the mental illness issues connected with BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride also connected with it.My moods change by the day or by the minute in the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply and continually talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia combination struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a little bit better as they both help in sustaining me.I am not saying that the human therapy that I get isn't good,but both God and his son Jesus Christ collectively give power beyond what any human therapy can give.They help me feel a little bit more at ease with this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I felt that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to that room,the erection softened and when I got there,it was now fully softened and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I was tempted throughout the day to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and also to watch porn online,as well as to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them.Regarding that latter third temptation,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that temptation comes around.Regarding the other two,I threw them on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist those particular temptations.I did it throughout the day as I was being tempted to do these things throughout the day.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever they came around and every time that I did that,the temptation was reduced to nil.Since relying on both God and his son Christ Jesus a lot more,I always feel better as a result of trusting in them and asking them for strength to help me fight and resist all temptations that come around.It is wonderful that they can and do help when asked.I am also still asking to be prayed for by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts and also to please leave and encouraging word or two as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in the fight.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday spirituality group that I must attend.I also have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon as well.Aside from these things,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ