Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I didn't shower for a while as I had a couple of phone calls this morning.One from a place that arranged for me to come in for a job interview and another from my job placement counselor and coach.After these calls,I was relaxing for much of the morning and when it was approaching noon,I finally jumped into the shower and cleaned up and when I was finished cleaning myself,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and most of the time,I had to prepare for my appointment with my general medical doctor as a result of the cold that I had last week and also,to get new prescriptions for two of my most important medical conditions.
The session with the doctor went well and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to turn in some empty bottles and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I caught up on my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening while watching a DVD.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising out of bed,I gave into the temptation to lust and fantasize and I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and when I reached orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I felt terrible for doing this and when I was finished washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and prayed to him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin to my Heavenly Father as I confessed my sins to him.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed to him.I prayed and told him everything and when I was finished,I felt better and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins.I went through the rest of the day feeling better that I was forgiven.I still need to really get tough on myself.I have to learn how to say "NO" to these terrible temptations when they come around.I need to really work on showing these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and that they don't own me.I can't let myself fall into the trap of habitually sinning and going to my Heavenly Father to be forgiven for sinning.I need to really get tough with myself ans say "NO" to these temptations.I need to really work on going to my Heavenly Father and asking for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I need to make that a habit and go to him every day and asking for that strength.If I don't,I am up the creek with no place to go.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and every day.They do both help in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.They also both reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a job interview tomorrow in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ