Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to visit a new pizzeria that just opened up and decided to give their pizza a try,which was very good.After eating,I headed over to my sister's house to pick up something and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a few more food items.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and did some more personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a short time listening to a little bit of music before heading back out to a Lenten dinner in my church's fellowship hall.
The Lenten dinner was wonderful.There was some wonderful fellowship and I had a blast.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and did a little bit more personal PC work.I then decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two struggles that I have.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I really felt miserable as this was the third consecutive fall that I have had over the last three days.Fortunately,I immediately stopped myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I pleaded for my Heavenly Father's forgiveness as I was sorry for what I had done.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.When I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is this;I need to really get tough on myself when I arise in the mornings.Though I am awake with my eyes,my mind really isn't fully awake at that time.As a result of that,Satan and his minions can take advantage of this to take over my mind by having sexual images of men cloud my mind at their disposal.They also know that I know the truth about SSA and that I am still working on doing something about it.They are trying everything in their power to manipulate my way of thinking and try to get me to change my mind about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I need to tell them to hit the road constantly because I don't want these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA to own me.I want to own them and tell them that I won't let them define who I will be nor dictate to me how I will act.I have to constantly keep in mind that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.It is also sinful,unacceptable and above all,obscene,degrading and destructive.I have to continually keep that in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I also need them desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.Both of these types of support help keep me going and also,the reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would really appreciate some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ