Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wound up waking up at noon and when I did,I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After a while of being up,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I left the house to take my youngest grand-niece to her dance lesson.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up some things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started preparing my evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work while waiting for my meal to get ready.
After eating my evening meal,I did some more personal PC work and I also listened to a little bit of music.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and the most difficult one of the two,SSA.Today,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and this time,I wound up ejaculating as a result of that.I really felt miserable when this happened as I had failed my Heavenly Father yet again for the fourth consecutive time.After washing my hands,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his forgiveness and mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin and I prayed for his forgiveness and mercy as I was sorry for what I had done.I prayed and I prayed and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better and Truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I am now going to make it my resolution to go to my Heavenly Father and pray for strength to help me fight and resist these urges.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I really want to heal from and overcome this terrible emotional condition.I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not have them own me.Again,I need to get really tough with myself and also,make it my resolve to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges and temptations when they come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Your prayerful and positive verbal support helps keep me going and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I Choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ