Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I had to make a couple of phone calls and I went and did my personal PC work.After that,I cleaned up around the house for a while and I relaxed for a bit.
Since I have no car at the moment,I have no place to go or anything to do.I simply stayed home and just caught up on some much needed work that had to be done.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to enjoy a little music and I also did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am a little fearful and scared to admit this,I gave into temptation twice today.I gave into the temptations to fantasize and lust after other men and I also manipulate my genitals to these images and I finished by masturbating the rest of the way.On both of these occurrences,I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.However,on the second occurrence,I also asked for my Heavenly Father to show his mercy as I sinned a second consecutive time and it was the same thing.I begged for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ alongside asking for forgiveness.I prayed real hard on both of these occurrences and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished the second time,I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father showed me his mercy when I asked for it regarding the second consecutive fall.I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I need to start making it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father daily and asking for strength to help me fight and resist whenever temptation rears it's ugly head on me.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires own me.I have to own them and not the other way around.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Instead of enhancing the lives of others,in particular,men,it only destroys and wrecks lives and leads people on the road to nowhere.I need all the help and support that I can get from my fellow blog followers and readers.Please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section real bad.I get many visitors to my blog,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately.They both help keep me going,They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in terms of both my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ