Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.Since the weather was windy,I stayed home much of the day and worked on catching up on things that needed to be done.I only went out to one place and that was to a local Salvation Army thrift store to check out their stock of hats and I really didn't find any one hat that interested me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply began picking up where I left off when doing some necessary work that needed to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am always on an up and down ride when it comes to my emotions and/or moods.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,Temptation tried to get the better of me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I started to get up out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften and after I walked around for a while,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation at two separate intervals of the day when I gave in to manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The first was when I was still in bed trying to get up when the alarm went off and the other time was when I had finally gotten up and the images of men started to cloud my mind again.It seems that these negative sexual images of men are starting to really try to overtake and envelope me in a lot of ways.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into these temptations.I did feel better after that as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sins were forgotten by God and his son Jesus Christ.I tried throughout the day to keep my mind focused on other positive things to try and get anything having to do with sex off of my mind,though admittedly,it isn't an easy thing to do.I went out to do a little shopping and also,I worked around the house to clean up here and there.I did what I felt that I had to do to try and get sex off of my mind.I also kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking him for the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time that I am going through.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional times.I would also appreciate some very encouraging words in the comments section as well.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle because I really want to heal from this terrible SSA and everything connected with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and also,an appointment with my caseworker.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ