Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
I went to church this morning as I usually do.The morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards were both wonderful.I relaxed for much of the day and did my personal PC work.I also ran a few errands that I needed to run.I ate a light meal and did a little bit more personal PC work.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading.I later retired and overall,it was a wonderful and eventful day.
However,my struggles are still the way that they have been.I am still enduring temptations to fantasize and lust after other men.These temptations strike when least expected for me.This struggle with SSA is getting even more difficult by the day.At times,I really don't know if I'm coming or going.I also feel like I'm stuck in the middle between the false identity(i.e."Homosexual/Gay")and the one true identity(i.e.Heterosexual/Straight").I know that the creator created male and female.I truly and totally believe all that.The thing is that many are pushing the agenda for the false identity and it stinks.
This is making my personal struggle with SSA that more difficult.I'm still craving sexual things with other men.I know and understand that it's wrong and unacceptable to the sovereign Lord and creator of all things to have sexual activity with another of the same gender,but I keep getting tempted to fantasize and lust repeatedly.I don't want to fantasize and lust after other men.I want to look at my fellow men as brothers in a Christian way.
I keep pleading for all of you to pray for me.I also keep pleading with you to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.All I need is some positive encouragement along with spiritual upbuilding.My struggles with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia make this SSA struggle that I have even more difficult.My mood changes and hearing things that are not there contribute to this personal struggle that I have with SSA.
Again,please pray for me continually and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks for your support and above all;Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is the start of a new work week and I hope that all goes well.FJ