Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I was also hoping to attend my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group,but I wasn't feeling very good.My right leg was hurting me badly as I could barely walk on it.My head was also pounding painfully,but I took something for that and I rested.Later on,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Before I did anything,I went out to shovel the walk for the mail people and I also cleaned off my car while I was warming it up.Before I left the house,I phoned a locally living friend to see if it was okay for me to pick up the Christmas gift that he had for me,which he said that I could come.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
It was a wonderful gift of a few dollars that I could use.After some socialization with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and register the few dollars that I got at the Where's George site.After that,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a couple more holiday themed videos that I hadn't gotten around to watch during the time leading up to the holiday.After that,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.My struggles with SSA are made more difficult with the psychiatric double whammy that I have.At times,I hear voices telling me to do things that are wrong and sinful and I also hear sounds that nobody else hears,such as voices calling out my name and footsteps following me when I walk and every time that I turn around,there is always nobody there at all.It's bad enough that I have to put up with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA,but having the psychiatric double whammy of BPD/Schizophrenia makes the struggle with SSA even more difficult.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,there were sexual images of men clouding my mind and I wound up ejaculating.After washing my hands,I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin.I pleaded with my Heavenly Father for his mercy and asked for forgiveness as I was truly sorry for what I did.I hate it when I fall short.After finishing,I felt much better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my everyday life.I need to do that.While I am working on that,I am again asking for prayerful support by my fellow blog followers.I am also again asking for some more positive words of encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things to help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ