Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and was surprised that my alarm didn't go off.When I got up and out of bed,I saw that my alarm clock was flashing 5:31am this morning and when I went to check the time on another clock,I saw that it was 7:40am in the morning.I had discovered that while I was sleeping,the power went out and I saw that a few of the electric clocks had a flashing time or no time on them.
I hurriedly jumped into the shower and showered quickly.After I dried up quickly,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church.I spent much of the time waiting for the car to warm up working to get ice off of my windows and windshield that had accumulated as a result of the freezing rain that we had last night.I worked as fast as I could and when I had gotten the vast majority of the ice off,I drove to church and it was pretty tough driving there as I had to drive carefully over the slick roads and I also had to watch out for fallen tree branches and other wooded messes around on the streets as a result of the freezing rain storm last night.Fortunately,I made it to church all in one piece and was ready for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,where everyone there thanked me for sending them Christmas cards,I headed straight home and it was easier getting home as a result of the change in the rainy weather pattern,though I still needed to look out for downed tree branches and even some electrical wires down.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I watched a few holiday themed videos.
After eating,I relaxed and watched a few more holiday themed videos and DVD's.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily struggles with SSA.I never know what will happen when it comes to the psychiatric double whammy that I have or the SSA that I struggle with.Today,I was tempted throughout the afternoon,but kept busy with watching holiday themed videos and DVD's.I kept watching them religiously.I have plenty of them.Today,it wasn't a very big problem,but tomorrow and the subsequent days after tomorrow have their own troubles and anxieties.Temptations can come when least expected and I never know when a temptation will come around.I am still working on getting tough with myself.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my daily life.I have to show the unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won them and that they don't own me.I know that this is easier said than done,but I know that I can do it with the help of my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.Please continue in prayer for me and please continue to leave me some words of positive encouragement.I need them both as they do keep me going and show that I am not alone.They also help keep me on the path to change and continue searching for myself in regards to my manliness and finally connecting with my true identity,which is male.I need to connect with my true male identity as I have never connected with it as a result of the physical and emotional abuse that I suffered at the hands of my father and also,his legalistic ways that screwed me up and is the main reason for my struggles with SSA.There were other contributing factors,such as being the victim of sexual abuse at the hands of other members of my gender and also,being the victim of a pedophile at three separate intervals of my life.With the help of my Heavenly Father,his son Jesus Christ and also,the helpful prayerful and positive verbal support of my fellow man,I can overcome SSA and also,transcend from it into my true male identity.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ