Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I put off doing my personal PC work to help out my niece,who asked me to drop off some paperwork at the local Social Services office for her.Before doing that,I stopped at a local kitchen to have a light lunch and after that,I dropped off the paperwork and headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I paid a very important bill over the phone and after that,I headed back out again to drop off some newspapers and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go through day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having to contend and endure with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to get me through in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also,to give me the strength to get through any difficulty that comes with the territory of having the psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me at a normal level plain.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are both there and leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.On the first occasion,I turned to the opposite side and within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Regarding the second one,I sat up and headed for the bathroom as I had to go and use it.As I headed for the bathroom,the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I was finished.I went back to bed and to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and to also lust after other men when sexual images tried to cloud my mind.I also was tempted to manipulate my genitalia for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I prayed real hard.I prayed in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt stronger and I also knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and I just kept praying all day whenever these temptations came at me from all sides.I also kept busy doing other things to keep my mind off of sexual things and that also helped as well.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally trying and difficult time.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as I can use some encouragement right now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome SSA and also,to motivate me to continue to seek healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.For those unaware,what I mean by "the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have",is that I willfully refuse to let these unnatural sexual desires for members of my own gender dictate nor determine how I will behave or act.Our Heavenly Father made us in his image and also,he made woman as a compliment and also,a compatibility partner as we are all biologically hard-wired for male-female compatibility and our Heavenly Father only accepts and approves of healthy and happy heterosexuality and also,he accepts no substitutes as the order that he gave is man and woman and nothing else.That is what I mean by that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ