Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Since today was rainy and a little foggy in my neck of the woods,I decided to catch up on some much needed work around the house.I have been putting it off for quite some time and I felt that today was the best day to catch up on it.I dove head first into doing all of this work around the house and though it was a lot,I managed to get a lot done in the short period of time that I had.After it was done,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms of this psychiatric double whammy try to get the better of me or try to weigh me down,I simply talk really hard to my Heavenly Father and I leave nothing out.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular thing that I struggle with and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,keeping me level.I am never alone in this particular mental health struggle that I am going through and it does make me feel a tad better and a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On the first occurrence,I sat up for a while and proceeded to stand up and the erection died down within a matter of minutes.On the second occurrence,I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom and as I headed there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I did give into a later temptation while I was still in bed by manipulating my genitalia for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,lustful images did cloud my tired mind as I did this.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt much better as I knew as well as believed that my Heavenly Father did forgive me for my sins and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have by fantasies,lusting and also,to look at online pornography.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father whenever these temptations came at me from all sides.The temptations were also pretty overwhelming and I really had to use all of the strength that I had to pray to mt Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.I didn't want to sin again as I did this morning and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to have strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations as they kept coming at from all sides.I did feel much better as I did that and I knew that I was given that strength to fight and resist all of those terrible temptations.One thing I know that each and every time you resist temptations,they keep coming back stronger and stronger each time.But I know that my Heavenly Father is there to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my daily posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I also ask that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need encouraging words really badly and desperately as I am continuing to fight this terrible SSA.My blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.I really want to heal and overcome and also,to continue to be free from the sinful sexual practices of all sorts that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have no plans.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ