Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.The only two things that I did was to first go to the public library to print something that I needed to print from my e-mail and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and for about half and hour,worked on paper work that I had to complete for my urology appointment tomorrow and for the job placement organization that I will be meeting with soon.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have to cope and deal with this emotional roller coaster ride day in and day out and at times,it can get pretty monotonous and tiresome.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to deal with this or even endure it,although I know that I have to,though I still wish that I didn't.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It's bad enough that I am enduring the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,but I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This one throbbed more than the previous ones that I have had.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I also headed for the bathroom as I had to use the bathroom anyway and when I was finished,the erection had fully softened and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation upon arising by manipulating my genitals to lustful images of men and I also subsequently started to fantasize with the images and that prompted the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.Throughout the day,I was tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men and to subsequently manipulate my genitalia with those images in my mind.I kept up in prayer to God all throughout the day whenever these sexual images of men flooded my mind and I asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations as they came at me from all sides and I felt better and much stronger after that.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a urology associates office and I am hoping that this goes well.I have nothing else planned for the rest of the day.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ