Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things planned,with one big thing happening this morning that was very important.
I met with a counselor at a local job placement organization where we discussed program basics and filled out some paper work and he said that the minute that he gets some paper work that I had to fill out at home that I had to send in by today,he can start looking into some jobs for me.I am now officially a client as of now and after the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the withdrawn bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out to pay a couple of bills.
I paid the first bill at a local supermarket and after that was paid,I headed over to the post office to mail out the other bill.After that was done and as I was leaving the post office,I popped that paper work that I had to complete at home in the mail and I am hoping that it gets there by Monday.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on those,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a bottle of mineral water.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down and not so good the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing things and/or other noises that nobody else can hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,talk about it and I leave nothing out and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to go.Once I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,I didn't have any sexual thoughts of men nor any cravings to lust or fantasize.I had a pretty busy day and all the activity that I had to do today took my mind off of anything sexual.For today,nothing sexual with men came into my mind and that was good.Again,this was the result of keeping busy and just going along with the day.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and there will always be the days after that I have to also keep in mind.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up prayers for me and also,to please don't be and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ