Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I watched another MASH marathon on TVLand and after that was over,I did my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to the local Sears to pay a much overdue bill and after that,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some much needed groceries.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and relaxed while watching a little bit more TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is not only great,but makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to go the bathroom as I had to use it and after I was finished,the erection fully softened and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation to fantasize and lust after other men,and I did manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to the sexual images of men that clouded my mind.I stopped myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better and I also truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sin was forgotten.Throughout the rest of the day,I kept busy doing what I had to do so I wouldn't be tempted as much and it did work.I kept busy and the images didn't cloud my mind nor did I get the temptation to manipulate my genitals.While I did get through the rest of the day without a scratch,I am again asking that all of you continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please leave me an encouraging word or two as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming and healing from SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ