Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I overslept and didn't have the time to really get to doing my personal PC work,so I put it off until later.
The group meting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a while.
Later on,I went over to my niece's house for dinner,which saved me from cooking.After I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,they both help me in keeping me at a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better as I am still battling the issues connected with the double whammy that I have for a psychiatric disability.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.Since I had to use the bathroom,I got out of bed and started towards there.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into yet another later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind while doing that and I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after them.Fortunately for me,I was able to stop myself before it went too far and asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better after that as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and to also manipulate my genitals to these sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me resist all of these temptations that kept coming at me from all sides and each and every temptation was stronger than the last.I kept asking my Heavenly Father for strength all day as I didn't want to fall as I am really and truly serious about wanting to be free from the trap of SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.It is just that lately these temptations have been coming at me from all sides and they keep getting stronger and stronger with each resistance.While I have been keeping up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and been keeping up day after day,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really could use some encouragement right now.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Yes,they really do.Please keep up in prayer and when you visit my blog,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ