Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having a light lunch,I went out to do a few important things that I needed to get done.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that,I headed out to a gas station to get some gas in my tank and after that,I headed for a bargain outlet close-out store to pick up something that I really needed.After paying for that,I headed to the local K-Mart to pick up a few other things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling the symptoms and the consistent emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.I am always battling the symptoms of this,with my moods and/or emotions varying by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.Aside from the BPD struggle,I also have to struggle with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult,as I also have to put up with hearing things,such as voices calling out to me or the sound of footsteps,and then turning around only to find that there is nobody or anything there.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I pray about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out.I always feel a tad better after that as both of them help in sustaining me and also,make me feel more at ease.It also shows that I don't have to struggle with this alone.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and walk and that is what made the erection soften.After doing a little bit of walking,the erection was dead and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into yet another temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was some lusting after other men as sexual images of them did cloud my mind and it lead to me fantasizing about them.Fortunately,I managed to stop this and immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and as usual,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins and that they were forgotten by my Heavenly Father.I kept up in prayer all day as I was being tempted left and right.I didn't want to fall again and I also didn't want to act out with lusting and fantasies.I kept asking in prayer for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I did feel much stronger after each prayer.Though I have been doing this,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me.I am still going through a rough and difficult emotional time and I need all the prayers that I can get.I also ask that you also please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave an encouraging comment or two for me in the comments section as I could also use some words of encouragement.Prayers and words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming and healing from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Men's Network group meeting,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ