Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first had a spirituality group that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there early as I had an appointment to talk with someone at the agency where the group was being held before the meeting was to start.
After meeting with that person at the agency,where he helped me partially fill out an aid form,I attended the group meeting.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed over to the local hospital to pick up an extra prescription refill and I also did some shopping at a nearby Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the stuff off and I headed out again.I went to pay a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery is still ongoing,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still continuing my therapy and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better as they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of putting the matter in God's hands and after that,letting him and his son Jesus Christ take the lead.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was yet another overwhelming temptation.I had to really use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a while and stayed sitting up for only a few minutes and when the erection died down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many different forms,but they are all terrible.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,I feel like surrendering to them,but I refuse to do that,as that is what Satan wants and I am not giving him that satisfaction.I simply continue to take the matter of my struggles to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and have them lead the way.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in his son Christ's name to get me through the temptation by giving me even more strength to resist and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.But if it should ever happen that I give into any type of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning by giving into the temptation and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and the sin is forgotten by God.It truly shows that I am now alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am heading for a local office to help out with some legal problems.As for the rest of the day,I have not made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ