Tonight,my road to recovery,though it will be rocky for a while,is still ongoing.I have a wonderful and very eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed over to the church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were equally wonderful.It was also a special day for me because I am now officially a member of the church and will be able to participate in many of the things that the church members do.I am looking forward to next week as I am now a reinstated member of the church as a whole.It was a very happy day for me.After some wonderful fellowship with the members and getting their congratulations for me now being a member officially,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit,which is a sweat suit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I turned on the TV and watched some classic TV reruns.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,though I have said it several other times,but I really mean it when I say this;For me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
My father also came back today from his weekend trip.He will be heading back to North Carolina early Tuesday morning.
Though my road to recovery in still ongoing,despite a rocky road that I am on as a result of my mom's passing,I am still dealing and struggling,on a daily basis,with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is just the way it goes with having this terrible condition.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still attend therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help in sustaining me.After telling them about my struggle,I feel a tad better and I can move on.I still do what my therapists tell me to do,but both God and Christ give power beyond what any human therapy can give.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in getting me through it.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated a throbbing erection away and it was all emotional.I just grabbed myself and I gave in.I really felt miserable after that and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and after that,I feel better.I am forgiven and I can now forget the sin.This also shows me that I will have to have the strength and the courage to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through these trying and emotional times.It is a very difficult time for me right now as a result of my mom passing away and I really need the strength and the courage to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations.I am also asking for prayers and support from those who regularly read my blog and please leave an encouraging comment or two for me so I can carry on and try to be strong to fight and resist any sort of temptations.I would really appreciate that.I will still do my part,but I do need the help,support,encouragement and prayers of those who read and follow my blog.Thanks in advance to everyone for everything that they offer.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group that I am looking forward to attending.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
4 comments:
I think it was good that you had a couple of days alone to be followed by your Dad's return for a couple of days. It has enabled you to become somewhat accustomed to being alone while you knew that there would be a return visit from your father. In other words, this first couple of days weren't going to last forever. Now you know that you can handle it when he goes back to his home.
It's good that you have the support of your therapy and medications. I think that these human helps are one of the ways God provides for our needs.
And being a full member of the church is another good thing, and it comes at a very good point in your life.
God bless you.
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement as they truly made my day. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. Truly appreciated.
I can relate to your situation a little as I lost my mother some years back too.
'The Peace of God that passeth all understanding shall keep your heart and mind through Christ your Lord. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths'.
I think you are a fighter, Frank. A consistent, mighty one. Keep going brother!
Rajesh
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, expreiences and feelings. Thanks also for the encouragement. Keep it up.
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